Fading Too Fast
by Madarao The Authoress
Summary: "The fact that this boy had lost his will to live- and that it showed so clearly in his eyes and the blood on the floor- was what made Roy move again." Roy hates seeing Edward like this. All he wants to do is help. Eventual RoyxEd Memories series: first
1. Chapter 1

**I'm baaaack! Been forever, amiright. Amiright? But, yeah, I've been working on this, an original story in Susannah's honor, and then I've got school. Which includes a bug collection for BIO, and I've procrastinated waaaay too long on that one. xD So... yeah, been busy. But I've got this one done, and I can finally post it! One of my besties, Caroline (mentioned in my last story), basically beta'd this for me. She read most of it over and made a couple of corrections, but she missed a few. So, thanks to her!  
**

**Me: So, I've stalled enough. Time to get on with it! Er, Ed? Roy? Where are you guys. **

**-muffled moans in background- **

**Me: Okay then! Well, we might see them at the end of the chapter! But right now they're -ahem- busy. Moving along!  
**

**Warning: Blood from attempted suicide, foul language (come on, it's EDWARD!) and yaoi in later chapters. If you do not know what yaoi is, it is boy x boy lovey-doveyness, as in two guys in love and, more than likely, having sex. Because I have a dirty fangirl mind!  
**

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Chapter 1

He'd traveled so long, been what felt like everywhere. They had no luck finding the Stone. His promise to Al was crumbling right before his eyes, and no matter how hard he tried to catch the pieces, they slipped right through his fingers. It was killing him. He couldn't keep the promise; he was seeing that now. That knowledge made him want to die. Why couldn't it have been him, that day so long ago? Him that had gotten torn away and not Al? Then he wouldn't be tortured by all this.

How many times had he almost died, anyways? Too many to count. Each time, he'd been terrified and had fought for his life, but now- Now he wondered why he'd done it. Why he'd postponed the inevitable. He'd be happy to go back now and just let someone kill him. But back then, he thought he could actually find the Philosopher's Stone and return his brother's soul to his body- his _real_ body.

"Why can't it just end?" Edward breathed, sitting alone in his and Al's military-issued dormitory. Alphonse had left long ago, but Ed had missed where his brother was going. And as long as he stayed gone long enough, he didn't really care. The room was cool, a fan whipping the air around. It brushed his bare shoulders and flesh arm, causing chill bumps to rise. Or maybe they were in response to the knowledge of what he was about to do. It would leave Al all alone, but he couldn't take it anymore.

He'd not thought of himself as weak for a long time. Young, definitely. Confused and emotional, sometimes. Nina was an example of that. But weak? Not for years. He'd beaten so many obstacles in his life that there was no way. At least, that's what he'd thought. For the first time since he and Al had failed to bring their mother back, Ed thought- _knew_- he was weak.

And that's why, when he finally raised the blade and brought it roughly across his wrist, it wasn't deep enough. Still, blood gushed out, stained Winry's beloved automail and dripped over his black leather pants. Growling, he threw it across the room. It landed with a clang, the last sound in the room for a while besides Edward's heavy breathing and the occasional _plat_ of his blood hitting leather or the hard floor.

"My brother- I was a fool." Since the cut wasn't deep, it was a slow process. Rather annoying, really. He wanted it over with. He'd like to say it was just because didn't want to be here. Honestly, it was because he didn't want to have the time to turn around and change his mind. After all, his determination, no matter how strong it had been for all of his life before, had been failing him the past few weeks.

Already, he could almost hear his mother's voice. Trisha's voice. The reason they were in this damn mess in the first place. They'd just wanted to hear her voice again, see her face. Feel her slender fingers ruffle their hair. And Ed had believed he could do it. Even though so many others- others who were more experienced than he was- had failed. He'd been wrapped up in dreams. 'It can't fail.' he'd told Al. It was flawless. Only it wasn't. And _why _hadn't he listened?

Someone knocked on the door as his eyes fluttered closed in hopes that death might come quicker. His head tilted in the direction of the door, his eyes opening halfway. A growl- quiet and irritated- rumbled in his throat. Whoever was behind the door knocked again. "Fullmetal. Open the door." No. Not that voice. Because, no matter what, the owner of that voice would get what he wanted. And if he got that door open before Ed bled out, his suicide attempt would be just that- an attempt. Like that stupid human transmutation he and Al had done. Except, this time, no one would die, and that had been the goal.

Roy Mustang. Why did he have to knock on the door today?

And then the Colonel was standing in front of him. Ed hadn't even known he'd gotten he door open. "What the fuck are you doing, Edward?" At the use of his real name- not the 'Fullmetal' Roy insisted on calling him at all times- Edward looked up, and Roy almost flinched. Ed's golden eyes, usually so lively, were dull. The fact that this boy had lost his will to live- and that it showed so clearly in his eyes and the blood on the floor- was what made Roy move again.

Roy felt numb as he ripped a strip of cloth off a blood-soaked shirt near his foot, then knelt down and grabbed Ed's hand. "Don't fucking touch me, you bastard." Edward tried to yank his hand away. Roy held tighter and proceeded to wrap the bleeding wound.

"Shut up, Ed." The younger alchemist twisted his head away, letting it lay back against the wall. He felt the cloth tied tight around his wrist, and Roy press his hand against it. "The hell were you thinking?" No answer. One hadn't been expected. And then Roy gathered the young alchemist- the boy who had grown old far before his time- and lifted him into the air. Again, no reaction. The Flame Alchemist sighed and carried him out of the room, out of the dorms, and to the infirmary. The whole time, Edward's bleeding wrist dangled over the ground and an occasional drop would fall to mix with the tear-drop rain.

Ed's eyes were closed, his breathing slow, when Roy walked into the building. The older felt panic rise in his chest, but he clamped down on it. A nurse at the front desk looked up, smiled. The words 'Can I help you?' didn't even begin to form before Roy broke in. "He needs a doctor. Now. Before he bleeds out." The nurse pursed her lips and nodding, giving Ed a once over before turning to page a doctor. "It'll be okay, Edward." Would it be?

The doctor came with a different nurse and took Edward. The whole they were taking care of Edward, Roy sat in the waiting room. It was killing him, the quiet. He'd never liked hospitals. Or doctors. Or anything that reminded him of either of the two.

A little while later, the doctor that had taken Edward from him when they'd first come in came back and gestured for Roy to follow him. The Colonel stood up and did as he was told. The doctor explained everything as they walked: Ed's depression, how they'd stopped the bleeding, everything. And then, right as they stopped in front of the door leading to Ed's room, the doctor grabbed the door handle and held it. "He could try again. In fact, I'm fairly sure that, given the chance, he'd do it in a heartbeat. And, that time, he'd probably find a quicker way of doing it. Therefore, I'd suggest he not be left alone. You two can discuss where he can stay; I know his history, and I'm aware he doesn't have a home. Regardless of this, he needs a stable environment and someone to keep an eye on him at all times."

Roy swallowed hard as he listened to the doctor, nodding once the older man finished speaking. "I'll talk to him about it."

"Thank you, Colonel. I'll be back later to check in and hear what you and Mr. Elric have decided." The doctor- Roy hadn't even thought to get his name- let go of the door handle and left. Roy went into his subordinate's room after taking a breath to steady himself.

"You'd better not tell Alphonse." The door hadn't even closed. Roy looked up to find Edward looking- no, _glaring_- at him. Great. His job had just gotten an assload harder, and it had barely even started.

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**There you have it! Chapter One of Fading Too Fast! I have SEVEN words of the next chapter written. Oh yeah, cause I'm just that awesome. **

**Ed: She typed those just so she could say she'd done it. **

**Roy: -snickers- **

**Me: Shut up, you two! Or do I need to tell everyone what you were doing at the beginning of the chapter? Because you know how much I love my details! -evil grin-**

**Roy: Not necessary!**

**Me: Thought so.**

**Ed: Madarao says she will not update again until she gets reviews. If you want her to continue, you'd better review and tell her so! I wanna know what happens to me! **

**Me: Until I get my reviews! Ciao!  
**

**hugs&kisses~Madarao  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**And here's Chapter 2! I actually had this finished Friday, but then I had to type it up (hand write it at school, then come home and type it) and I didn't get that finished until tonight. I still got it out here before I planned to, though! **

**Edward: You procrastinate too much.**

**Me: Shut up!**

**Roy: He's right; it's annoying.**

**Me: -growls- Shut /up!/ -starts chasing Roy around-**

**Edward: Hey, you guys... Forget it. Disclaimer: Madaroa-chan doesn't own Fullmetal Alchemist, no matter how much she wishes she did.**

**Warning: This is yaoi, people! Boy x Boy lovey-doveyness, with eventual butt-sex. Kay, thanks. Oh, yeah, and there's foul language.  
**

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~Chapter 2~

So this was where they ended up: Standing or sitting on opposite sides of a hospital room, one glaring at the other while one simply stared. Ed's legs dangled over the side of the hospital bed, his hands gripping the edges of the mattress. Gauze was wrapped around his flesh wrist. No more blood could be seen on his skin- which was considerably paler than it usually was. Bags were under his eyes, which were no longer completely dead. A hint of anger, sparking Ed's normal fire, lit the gold up, and Roy couldn't even care that anger at he himself had probably birthed that fire.

"Wouldn't he have found out when he came back and you were dead?" It didn't leave room for any of Edward's nonsense. That is, if the young alchemist would even try anything, and Roy wasn't sure that he would.

"That would have been different."

"How, Fullmetal? How the _hell_ would your brother finding you dead have been any different from telling him what you tried to do?" Roy asked, sounding dumbfounded and, well, pissed. Ed's head was twisted away again, his glare now directed at a wall. Then the fingers on his automail hand tightened on the mattress, and one could clearly see the strain in his features.

"Because I wouldn't have to- to face him. If he found out I'd tried to kill myself, then I'd have to see how hurt he was, and he'd hate me even more. I couldn't stand that." _Coward._ The word flitted through his mind before he could stop it, and he knew it was true. Suicide showed cowardice. Not willing to tell your own brother you slit your wrist and wished for death because you didn't want to see his reaction was cowardly.

Roy was silent for a moment, contemplating this, before he said, "He has a right to now." But he did understand Edward's reasoning for not wanting to tell Alphonse- the only family he had left- about the attempted suicide that would have left Al alone and attached to a suit of armor.

"And I have a right to keep it a secret for as long as I like."

Roy didn't argue. "The doctor says you have to be monitored at all times, and Alphonse isn't an option since you refuse to tell him. So we have to decide who you're going to stay with that'll watch you and what, exactly, you're going to tell your brother to explain why you have to stay at someone else's place." As the Colonel finished speaking, Ed's gaze snapped to him, irritation mixing with the anger and causing the flame to burn brighter.

"Why the hell do I have to be babysat by somebody?" Fullmetal growled, golden eyes narrowing at him once more.

"Because, Ed; we don't want a repeat of tonight. You're of much more use to us alive than you are dead." Which was only part of the truth. Roy didn't want Edward to die because he cared; it had nothing to do with how valuable his alchemical skills were to the military. Plain and simple. "And because nobody wants you gone." It sort of slipped out, but it got Edward's attention.

"Fine. What about Hughes'?" Ed suggested, but Roy shook his head.

"Out of town." For a while, they went back and forth like that, slowly marking off the people Ed knew here until there was only one person left: Roy. Of course, he wasn't too happy about being forced to stay with the Colonel, but it wasn't like he had much of a choice.

"Alright, Ed. You can stay at my place until the doctor says you're allowed on your own again." Roy could see the distaste clear on Ed's face. He wasn't quite sure what it was from: Staying with him, being stuck in once place, or what, exactly.

Not long after, the doctor came back and Roy told him the decision they'd come to. The doctor- Roy found out his name was Dr. Neumann- agreed, scribbled on his clipboard, then handed Roy two slips of paper. "Those are prescriptions for Edward. One's for depression, and one is an antibiotic to fight of any infections." Dr. Neumann explained as Roy looked over the slips. Edward was still glaring at a wall from the bed. "As soon as you're ready, you can go." With that, they bid farewell and Dr. Neumann left.

"You ready to leave?"

"Hell yes." Edward grumbled, slipping off of the bed and going straight for the door. They went back to Ed's dorm first to clean up and grab the things he would need whil he was staying at the Colonel's house. Up until the they stopped in front of the door, Edward was praying Alphonse wasn't back. When he pushed open the door, the room was empty, and he breathed a long sigh of relief before actually walking in.

"Get your stuff. I'll clean all this up." Roy told him, already starting for the sink to wet a rahg so he could wipe up the blood. Edward nodded and got his bag, dropped it on the bed, then opened it. He put extra clothes in it, then got his toothbrush and other things out of the bathroom. They were added to the pile in the bag.

Noticing the blade still ont eh floor, Ed went over and picked it up. There was still blood on it. A sticky substance now on his fingers. Before he could get a _real _look at it, though, it was taken from his hand and dropped into the bag all the blood-soaked rags (and the shirt Roy had ripped to wrap Ed's wrist earlier) were going in. Roy rubbed the blood from Ed's fingers with the rag he had just gotten to finish the job.

"I wasn't going to try it again. You were right there, anyways." Edward mumbled, looking at his now-clean hand. "You would have stopped me if I tried, right?"

"Of course." Roy knelt down and mopped more blood off of the floor.

"So it would've been stupid of me to have tried it." The door opened, and both Roy and Edward's heads whipped to face it.

"Tried what, brother?" Neither had heard Alphonse come to the door; they'd been too distracted. "Why's your suitcase out, and why's Colonel Mustang here? Are we going somewhere?"

"Ah, no, Al." Ed hadn't really put much thought into a lie for his brother. He'd been hopig it would come to him when he needed it. "Er, I've gotta stay at the Colonel's for a while. Something the military wants me to do. You can stay here or go to see Winry, I guess." Roy had dropped the bag he'd been holding into Ed's suitcase as the teen explained the lie to his little brother.

"Oh. Okay. I'll just- go back to Winry's for a while. Call when you're done?" Ed could hear the disappointment in Al's voice as he spoke.

"Of course." Ed replied, snapping his case closed and picking it up. He hadn't missed the disappointment in Al's voice. "It won't be too long. Promise." Grinning, he thumped the armor-bound soul's upper arm. You could almost see Alphonse's smile when he laughed.

"Alright, brother."

Roy's house wasn't far, Ed found out. In fact, what seemed like moments later, Ed was dragging his suitcase out of the car, staring up at the huge house all the while. "This is where you live?"

"Yes, it is." Accompanied by a chuckle.

"Damn."

There was more chuckling as Ed followed Roy up the steps to the front door, suitcase in tow. They slipped their shoes off right in the entrance, and Ed shed the coat he'd pulled on as soon as they'd gotten into his dorm; he hadn't wanted Al to see his bandaged wrist if his brother were to have walked in.

"C"mon. I'll show you your room." Roy led him up the stairs and down the hall, then gestured to a closed oak door. "Mine's right across the way in case you need anything." he informed Edward as the younger opened the door. It was simple, and held its own beauty. A large bed was pushed against the back wall, a nightstand at its side. It was made up nice, black comforter tucked over the pillows. The mirror on the dresser threw the image back, along with the closet door. Ed smiled just slightly and stepped forward onto the light-colored carpet.

"It's nice. Thanks."

"He doesn't hate you, ya know." Ed's eyes widened as he turned halfway to look at the man who had uttered the words, almost asking 'What?' before he was cut off. "What you said, in the hospital, about Al hating you more? Alphonse doesn't hate you in the first place; he doesn't blame you for what happened."

Shaking his head Ed turned back to the room. "How can he not?"

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**Well, there it is, people! Kind of sad that it's longer than the first chapter... Ah well. I've already gotten started on Chapter Three, but I'm not sure when it will be up. Heh. Cos, y'know, it's Thanksgiving week and I've gotta spend time with the family and help get ready for it. So, bleh. But I'll probably write all day and ignore them. **

**At that line up there **("How, Fullmetal? How the _hell_ would your brother finding you dead have been any different from telling him what you tried to do?")**, meh buddy, Caroline was all "Well, because he'd be _dead_. Duh, Roy." in this really weird voice, and we both burst out laugh. I just had to share that. xD**

**Edward: You done rambling now? **

**Me: -glares- Yes.**

**Roy: Okay! We'll be back in about a week with a new chapter (and new ramblings from Madarao-chan)! Make sure to review in that time!**

**Me: Ciao, people!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao-chan  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh yes! I did it again! Another chapter, completed and published! Of course, it would have been more impressive if I had gotten it up earlier like I had wanted to. But I wasn't completely finished and I was super tired, so I just said "Fuck it. I'll publish this later." I'm a terrible person, I know. What can I say? I've been on Thanksgiving break and I've been lazy. Buuuuut, I'm planning a Christmas Roy x Ed fanfic for all you people, and I should have a bunch more chapters up for this one soon. Oh, and the epic yaoiness should come in soon, too.**

**Ed: You reaaaally wanna push this, don't you?**

**Roy: He means stop rambling and let everyone get on to the reading. **

**Me: Oh. Right. Okaaaay then! **

**First, though, I'd like to thank all my reviewers, but especially Tamyou and Narutard212. Their reviews made me feel absolutely amazing and even more confident in my writing. Thank you!  
**

**Warnings: Foul language, Boy x Boy (which I really don't think I should have to put up; the only pairing warning should be Warning: Boy x Girl) lovey-dovey yaoiness**

**Disclaimer (which I just realized the other day that I'd been skipping out on): I do not, never have, and never will, own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, I wouldn't be here; I'd be writing/drawing sexy scenes between our favorite young prodigy and our favorite Colonel.**

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It hadn't taken long for Edward to settle in. A day and a half, at most. Roy supposed it was because the teenager was always on the move. Always going to new places and never stopping for too long. He must settle in fairly quick, then get up and move on, only to repeat the process a few days later.

Everyday, Roy checked for any evidence that the young alchemist had tried to cut himself again. Twice, in fact. After they'd woken up, and after they'd gotten home from work. Edward was on desk work for now, though most people didn't know why. Hawkeye, Havoc, and Hughes were the only ones besides Roy that had been informed.

Roy had already checked Ed for the morning, they'd had breakfast, then left for work. Everything was going smoothly, regardless of Edward being as irritable as he'd been since Roy had found him a few nights ago. Even so, the young alchemist hadn't complained about being stuck here all day… yet. Of course, everyone was just waiting for the Fullmetal Alchemist to burst through the door, all pissed off, and demand to be given any mission just to be sent away from _here_.

Apparently, today was that day.

"Damn it!" Everyone, except Riza, looked up from their work- if Havoc and Breda's throwing paper slips at each other could be considered work- as the short blonde shoved the door open. It almost closed in his face again from rebounding off the wall, but he stopped it with his automail hand. "Mustang!"

"Give us a minute." Roy stood up and walked to the front of his desk as Breda, Fuery, Havoc, and Riza filed out the door. Ed stepped farther in and closed the door harder than necessary. "What do you need, Fullmetal?"

"Let me have a damn mission already. I'm tired of just sitting around!" Ed growled, hands clenching at his sides. His red coat hid the gauze- which had to be changed every night- that covered his wound and kept it clean. Roy shook his head, and Ed's eyes narrowed even further. "Why not?"

"You're not allowed to leave my care yet. When the doctor says it's okay, I'll give you one."

Ed's head dropped, bangs shielding his face from view. His teeth dug roughly into his bottom lip. Tears leaked out of his eyes and slipped down his tanned cheeks. His fingers rubbed against his coat on either side, dragging the material into his fists so he was twisting it. Why was he crying? Hell if he knew. But he couldn't stop the traitorous tear drops.

Roy paused, staring at Edward. '_Is he- Is he… /crying?/_' he thought, expression flooding with disbelief. Although it really shouldn't have, what with everything Ed had gone through. He didn't really think about it before he moved towards the young alchemist. Maybe he wouldn't have, if he'd thought, considering Edward's temper.

Golden, tear-filled eyes looked up for only a moment when strong arms wrapped around his chest, dragging him closer to the Colonel's chest. Then they disappeared as Ed buried his ace in the military officer's military jacket, muffling the choked sob that forced its way out of the younger's throat. He let go of his own coat and clutched Roy's instead, pulling it against his face as he cried harder into it. Occasionally, he'd make an odd sound resembling a sob. Roy placed his forehead against the top of Ed's, never letting his grip on the younger so much as loosen.

Finally, Ed's grip slackened just a little bit and his shoulders stopped shaking with his tears. Still, he leaned against the elder like he'd fall if not for the support. Roy held onto him even though Ed turned his head and pulled one hand up between them, wiping his eyes- which were bloodshot and puffy- with his sleeve. Some of his bangs were wet where they'd been crushed between his cheeks and Roy's jacket.

"Do you want to go home?" Roy asked quietly, voice muffled slightly against Edward's hair. There was a short pause before he felt the shorter nod his head. "Okay. Let me get my paperwork and we'll leave." It was spoken quietly and then Roy's arms weren't around him anymore. His eyes locked onto the floor between the toes of his boots, but he could hear the other moving around.

Then there was a gentle arm turning him to face the door. Then it was leading him slowly out of it and down the hall.

"Colonel?" Riza's voice came from the right. Ed didn't look up, but he imagined her hand was resting on the gun at her side. And it, of course, was.

"Ed and I are going home; there was sort of a… problem. I'll finish up my paperwork at home, and then bring them back in tomorrow." Roy sent a pointed look down at Ed, who didn't see it. But Riza's hand fell from her gun.

"Alright, sir." And then Ed was being led forward again by the arm that had never fallen from around his shoulders. As they walked, he could feel people's eyes on them. A few told them goodbye, but most just stared. Then there were outside and the feeling was gone.

Roy opened the car door for him and he slid into the passenger's seat, curling up against the door almost as soon as it was closed. His forehead bumped the cool glass lightly as they drove towards Roy's house, his arms wrapped around his legs. Roy didn't try to talk to him; he decided that, when he wanted to, Ed would speak.

That wasn't until they'd settled into Roy's couch, both changed into more comfortable clothes, and the man had started working on his paperwork again. Ed had been curled up on the opposite side of the couch, but, suddenly, his head was in Roy's lap. He stared down at the teenager, listening to him sniffling still from earlier, then dropped his pen down on the table beside the couch. His now-free hand settled on top of Edward's head, playing with the bangs that had dried on the way over here.

"Why'd you come to my room in the first place?" Ed asked quietly, voice rough from crying.

"You hadn't been to turn in your report yet, even though you'd been here for a few days. Some people were wondering why, so I came to see if anything was wrong. Good thing I did."

"Yeah. Good thing you did." Ed replied quietly, eyes closing. They were both silent for a few minutes, Roy wondering at what Ed has said. Was the teenager regretting his attempt at suicide? It sure sounded like it. But, when he voiced it aloud, he wasn't rewarded with an answer. Brows furrowing, Roy looked down at Ed, who was asleep.

Roy went back to signing papers with a smile gracing his features.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;**

The orange dull light of a streetlamp filtered in through a crack in the living room curtains, casting a long rod of light across the sleeping face of Roy Mustang. A pencil still balanced on his open fingers, for he'd fallen asleep signing papers. Again. At least this time he wasn't at his desk in his office.

The blond in his lap shifting was what roused the Colonel, his eyes opening slowly. The pencil rolled across the table and over the edge as he lifted his hand to rub the blurriness from his eyes. Edward was still asleep in his lap, just in a slightly different position than when he'd fallen asleep. As in facing a different direction; his nose was close to rubbing against Roy's pants' zipper.

Upon realizing this, Roy, cheeks flushed just slightly, pushed Ed a little away so his face wasn't so close to his crotch, then shook the teen's shoulders gently. "Hey, Ed. We should go on to bed." he whispered when the blond had made a sleepy sound.

"'m not getting up. Just sleep here." Ed mumbled sleepily, settling back into Roy's lap. The man sighed, but didn't try it again. Instead, he resituated the both of them so he was lying across the couch as well, Edward's back against his chest and his arm thrown over the younger. If they were going to sleep down here, he might as well be comfortable, even if he was probably going to be punched in the face when Edward woke up.

And he fell asleep like that, more comfortable than he would have been in his big, lonely bed upstairs. Maybe a punch in the face was worth it.

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**Another chapter gone. So cute. Anywho. Yeah. I have to go back to school next week. That means you'll probably have another chapter on Saturday because I don't pay attention in class and write instead. xD Oh, and, uh, Roy and Ed had some -cough- things -cough- to do, so they aren't here right now. -blush- Reviews are loved, as are Story/Author Favorites/Alerts! Ciao, readers!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Oh my god I am so sorry this took so long! I've been sick and in the hospital and it sapped my muse and I was being lazy and I'm making this a run-on sentence for no reason. xD But, yeah, anyways, I'm finally done! I'm too happy with this chapter. The ending was good, but the rest was bleh. **

**I stayed up until four in the morning finishing this the day before my Christmas thing with my grandparents on my dad's side because my cousin, Pandah Rhia on here, threatened to kill me otherwise. -_- I hope you're happy with yourself, Ree!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Never did, never will, never claimed to. I'm just using the characters for my own sick pleasure. K'thanks.**

**Warnings: Cursing, Yaoi (boy x boy lovey dovey situations), and Authoress ranting.  
**

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"Roy, let me go." Poking at his fingers and struggling against his hold woke Roy up. During his sleep, Roy's arms had wrapped tightly around Edward's waist, and now the blond was fighting to get out of his embrace. "Come on," he whined, "I gotta piss." Roy slid one arm away and Ed got up, basically running down the hall to the closest downstairs bathroom. Groaning, he shook the arm that the teen had been lying on to wake it up. Then he got up and went to the kitchen. Ed's medicine bottles were lined up along the wall behind the sink, far too obvious. But Roy ignored them as he started making breakfast, as he'd done since Ed had come to stay with him.

Once Ed was finished in the bathroom (and he felt _so_ much better) he walked through the living room to the kitchen. He stood in the doorway for a moment, watching the Colonel's beck as he stood at the stove. Then he moved over to the sink, got some water in a glass, and took both of his pills. The first two days, he'd complained about it, then he decided it was better to just take them and shut up. After that was done, he plopped down in one of the chairs at the table.

A few minutes later, a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast was placed on the table in front of him with a soft noise, and then Roy sat across from him with his own plate.

"About yesterday-"

"Don't even. You needed it. Even when you'd tried to kill yourself, I hadn't seen you shed one tear. With depression, that's odd. So don't even think about apologizing."

"… Oh. Okay." Ed mumbled, picking up a slice of toast and biting the edge. The rest of the meal was spent with idle chit-chat and then they changed for work.

On the ride to the Command Center, Roy kept casting glances at the stack of paperwork sitting in the seat between them. It caused Edward to snort with slight amusement. The Colonel hadn't finished signing the papers before he'd fallen asleep. Hawkeye was going to shot him for it unless he could come up with a really good excuse. And, even then, she'd still be pissed. It was highly likely she'd pull the gun on him, too.

"You can stay in my office from now on." He didn't say why he'd offered, and Ed didn't ask.

"Okay. I'll get my books and come back up." Ed let his feet slip off the seat as Roy parked the car. Sitting with his legs pulled up had become a habit. He climbed out of the car and stood at the front until Roy joined him, then they walked into the building together.

"Be right back." And then Ed was gone from his side, run off in a completely different direction than Roy's own office was in. Roy sighed and kept walking to his office. Riza wasn't waiting for him and, breathing a sigh of relief, he sat down at his desk. Maybe he could get some more signing done before the gun-loving woman came in and asked him about it.

As it were, his relief was short-lived. "Colonel Mustang, sir, where are the papers you were supposed to sign?" Roy swallowed hard at the sound of Riza Hawkeye's voice.

_Oh shit._ he thought, But instead of saying it aloud, he smiled weakly at her. "Well… I, uh-"

"It's my fault, Lieutenant." Ed was hidden behind a stack of books on alchemy, his notes at the very top of the pile. Riza's gun wavered, already pointed at Roy's temple, and then she slipped it back into the holster. "I sort of- Well, O was upset and everything and he couldn't all of them because he was taking care of me and-"

"Alright, Edward. I get it. Finish signing them, Colonel." Riza cut in, saluted and, when Roy waved her off, left.

"She always like that?" Ed asked, setting the books on the table in front of the couch."Pretty much. She's not so bad, though."

Both were silent for a while, Roy back to signing papers and Ed curled in on himself against the couch arm, reading one of the many books he used for research. Roy was hoping Ed would be okay today; that he wouldn't break down. Yes, Roy had told the teenager that crying- breaking down and needing someone to hold him- was okay. And he'd meant it; still meant it, but Ed hated that it had happened. From the moment he'd met him, Roy had known Edward would never show weakness in front of anyone if he could help it. The teenaged alchemist just didn't get that- with his life, or any life, really- it was okay to break sometimes. He just wished Ed had stayed away from the razor blades.

Seeing movement, Roy looked up from his work, pen hovering over the papers again. Ed was up now, book open and balanced on his palm as he paced the length of the room. It was restlessness, he supposed. After years of running the land, to be suddenly stuck in a building was a big change. One the Fullmetal Alchemist was no doubt unhappy with. And so he paced, Roy's eyes following him the whole time.

The walking wasn't helping. It should have been, since walking was what he wanted, but he also wanted somewhere new. Not just the Colonel's office. Which was pissing him off. Again. He didn't want a repeat of yesterday just as much as Roy didn't. Coming in angry and leaving with his tears soaking another man's uniform still didn't sit well with him, though Roy had assured him it was okay.

His fingers clenched on his chin, eyes narrowing at the book. Oddly enough, the words on the page weren't registering in his brain. Yet another thing to add to the anger boiling in his stomach, making his gut twist. The book snapped closed as it dropped, then flew back open, facing downward. Some of the pages were bent, but he didn't really care at the moment. Roy jumped, but he didn't care about that either. All he cared was that he was stuck here for who knew how long, pissed.

"I can't deal with this, Mustang. Not everyday. It's going to drive me insane." Ed grated out, teeth grinding together tightly as his head whipped to face the other. "I need something… I dunno, different! This sameness is getting monotonous!" Now he was right in front of Roy, the chair having been spun around, and his mismatched hands were resting on the older alchemist's knees, noses so close that they were actually brushing. Liquid gold, set on fire once again, burned into shadow-dark onyx.

"Full-Edward, there's nothing I can do."

"Yes, there is." Warm lips were pressed against his own before Roy could even think to question the teenager's statement. Before he'd even finished blinking properly. Thoughts of pulling back? They didn't even cross his mind. It stayed stubbornly blank. Until he realized… maybe this was what he wanted. But Edward was only fifteen! And Roy was thirty. That was a fifteen year age gap, not to mention it was a subordinate-superior relationship between two males.

When a weight settled on his lap and arms wrapped around his neck, he decided he didn't give a damn. Not that this would make him gay, not that he _liked_ it, not that there was such a large age gap, and not that they were in his office where the door was so conveniently unlocked. Roy's tongue slowly pushed past pliant lips, probing the slick inside of Edward's mouth. A low moan rumbled deep in the teen's throat, golden eyes slipping closed, finally, at the feeling. Neither could see anything anymore; both sets of eyes were closed now, for the best things in life went unseen. Now Roy answered with a slight moan of his own, hands coming to rest on Ed's hips.

His fingers slid up under the tank top, caressing the warm flesh. And then, somehow, he heard boots clicking outside the door. Roy yanked them apart, a string of saliva still connecting their lips. Both were panting and Edward, upon hearing the walking stop right in front of the door, snapped up and allowed his eyes to widen just a bit. He bolted off of Roy's lap, standing a safe distance away, as he wiped his mouth.

Roy had done the same, the chair squeaking a bit as it was turned back so the person sitting in it could face the desk. But both of their faces were red and they were panting. They knew, when the gun-bearing Lieutenant Hawkeye walked through the door, they'd be busted. An odd expression took up residence on her face upon seeing them, but was soon replaced by a business look.

"Papers?" she asked. Regardless of her knowing something was up, she didn't say anything. It was only a matter of time, Roy knew. He was sure Ed knew the same.

"Uh… I'm almost done. Just a few more papers." He smiled weakly again.

"Hurry, Colonel." And then she was gone again. Edward looked over at him, one of those looks in his eye. Roy just shook his head.

"Let me finish these."

Sighing, Edward nodded and went over to the couch, scribbling in his notebook. It was random doodles, all over the notes that had been written down. He looked busy enough, but his mind was still on that kiss and he didn't really know what he was doing on the paper. But he did know that he wanted it again; longer and deeper and _better_.

* * *

**Okay, so, tell me what you think! I need to know! Loved it? Hated it? Let me know!**

**Ed: She won't update without more reviews, and she's going to try to be more punctual with updates!**

**Roy: Unlike some people. Not like you're ever punctual for anything.**

**Me: Shut up, boys! Seriously. Ciao for now!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Yay! Another chappy! It would've been up earlier, but... Christmas and stuff. So I'm planning on having _another _chapter up really soon. As long as my new beta and cousin (Pandah Rhia) has time to do her beta-thing. Soon. I hope. **

**Edward: Stop stalling**

**Me: I am _not_ stalling!**

**Roy: Yes, you are.**

**Me: Do the damn disclaimer! -eating ramen in my emo-corner- **

**Edward: Madarao does not own Fullmetal Alchemist. It belongs to Hiromu Arakawa. The only thing Madarao owns would be the plot, and any OCs that happen to show up. **

**Roy: Warnings: Yaoi (boy x boy lovey-doveyness), cursing, Madarao-is-a-crack-head craziness, and naked boys. **

**Me: I am not a crack head!  
**

* * *

"Please?" Warm breath tickled his ear, stray strands of golden hair brushing across his cheeks. Roy's fingers tightened on the pen, teeth clenching as his resolve wavered. Already, he'd told Ed no. Even after he'd finished signing the papers he was supposed to have finished last night, because Hawkeye had brought in another couple of huge stacks that he was to sign. That had been hours ago, and he was still on the first stack. It was dark already, the full moon shining through the window and stars twinkling all around it.

"I said no, Ed."

"But, Roy-Toy. I _waaaant_ it." Ed whined in his ear again. A faint blush painted Roy's cheeks. Since when had Ed started calling him _that_?

"Not now." Roy scribbled his signature once again, pushed the page aside, and continued the process. Behind him, Ed whined and stomped his feet childishly, but- thankfully- walked away.

He was leaning against the front of the desk, to the Colonel's right, when the door opened. Havoc came in, cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye says you can finish signing tomorrow and go home." Havoc didn't take the cigarette out as he spoke, and it bobbed slightly as his lips moved. A grin spread across Ed's face as he looked back at Roy, then he pushed away from the desk.

"I like the sound of that."

The older men watched as Edward walked over and started cleaning up the table where his books were, then Havoc strode over to the Colonel's desk. "What's up with him?"

"No clue. Mood swings from the medicine?" Roy suggested weakly, swallowing hard. Havoc seemed to take it, shrugging his shoulders as he saluted and left the room once again. Roy dropped the pen on the desk and stood. He didn't have anything he needed to take home today- besides an overly-excited blond alchemist- so he waited until Edward was finished to leave. The other alchemist was far ahead of him though, walking faster than he had in a while. Roy didn't even want to think what all Ed wanted.

But, then, maybe he did.

Ed stayed paces ahead of him as they walked out to the car, and bounced by the door as he waited for it to be unlocked. The bouncing didn't stop on the ride home, either. The teenager sat, leaning forward in the seat and staring out the windshield, as he forced his body to bounce up and down in… Well, Roy didn't know exactly why he was bouncing. Anticipation, maybe? Or possibly excitement?

It had begun to make Roy just a bit nervous.

Okay, maybe more than a bit. He'd never seen Edward so… happy. The way he practically ran into the house when the car stopped in the driveway. Roy, on the other hand, took his time going in, wondering at what the boy could be planning. Or if he was planning anything; Roy could just be paranoid. Even though he knew that was highly unlikely.

Ed wasn't in sight when Roy came through the door, taking his shoes off and pushing them to the side. The younger alchemist's boots were there as well. Damn, the boy moved fast. Roy took off his military coat as he walked up the stairs, intending on changing in his room, then getting something to eat before going to bed.

Unfortunately for him, but very fortunately for us fan girls, he didn't make it past the landing before a certain spitfire blond ambushed him. A hand cupping the back of his neck dragged him down so the short teenager, who stretched up on his bare toes, could kiss him hard again. Roy should've pushed him away, and he was tired enough to, but he didn't want to. Instead, he slipped an arm around the small of Ed's back, and-

Oh. Ed didn't have a shirt on. How had he not noticed? He splayed his fingers. Okay, good. The boy still had pants on. Though, for some reason, it really wouldn't have surprised Roy if Ed had stripped completely. Of course, Roy wouldn't have minded if the teen actually _had_ completely stripped before jumping on him. Not really.

So he dragged the shorter closer against him, the boy's bare chest rubbing against the button-up dress shirt he wore under the military jacket. This time, Roy's tongue slipped inside Ed's mouth, probing the slick warmth slowly. He felt one of the other's hands slide up his abdomen, then flick open the top button of the shirt. Then another couple before the kiss was broken.

"How about a bath?" The breathy whisper was right at his ear, causing his hair to flutter just slightly. One could hear the grin in the teen's voice. Without even waiting for an answer, Edward slipped out of his superior's arms, smirking over his shoulder as he walked down the hall to the biggest bathroom. Roy grinned and followed after him, food and sleep forgotten for now. His military jacket was left thrown over the railing of the stairs. It would stay there until the next day.

A leather-clad butt stuck up in the air as Edward leaned over the tub to get the water to start running, and Roy leaned against the doorframe, grinning and staring. He heard Ed laugh, could see his shoulders shake slightly with it.

"Enjoying the view?"

"Oh, definitely. First time I've come in here and there's a nice ass over the bathtub." Ed's still-smirking face appeared over his shoulder as the water began splashing against the inside of the tub. Then he turned around and sat on the side of it, knees open just enough that Roy's attention was drawn downward.

"Good. Because I would've been pissed if I hadn't been the first." Then he laughed a bit and stood up, looking through the bottles on the cabinet and under it curiously. At finding bubble bath- he'd never actually used the stuff before- he glanced back and cocked an eyebrow at Roy, who shrugged.

"I didn't buy it." Roy replied. Which only made Ed more suspicious, but he shook his head and put some of the liquid in the cap, then let the water run through it. Then he did it again. He twisted the cap back on, and put it back where he'd found it.

"Now get that shirt off." And Ed started undoing buttons again, then slid his hands up the Colonel's bare chest to push the clothing off his shoulders. "You're more fun when you're not at work."

"Riza's not standing there with a gun, is she?"

"Good point." Ed slipped the clasp on his leather pants open and slid them down along with his boxers. Roy had followed in suit. The younger shoved him- gently, mind you- towards the bath, and Roy laughed before climbing in. The bubbles kind of tickled, something he remembered from when he was little. Ed slipped in with him, settling between his legs and leaning so his back was pressed against Roy's slick stomach.

Since Ed's hair was already falling out of the braid, Roy reached up and gently pulled the tie out, dropping it over the side of the tub. Always, he'd wondered how the teenager kept his hair so shiny and untangled. Not to mention how soft it would feel. So, now that he had a chance, he ran his fingers through the golden strands, the braid falling apart to leave long, wavy locks that fell past his shoulders. And it was just as soft as he'd thought it would be, maybe even more so.

Ed hummed softly, contentedly, as his hair was threaded gently through the older man's fingers. He cupped bubbles between his hands, staring at them a moment before puckering his lips and blowing slowly onto them. They didn't fly everywhere, as he'd heard and expected; they popped. Frowning, he dipped his hands back in the water to wash the remainder of them away.

And then he felt Roy nuzzling the side of his neck. The bubbles were completely forgotten. His head tilted to allow more access, and he was rewarded when teeth nipped at the offered, tanned skin. Ed reached around and placed his hand on the back of the other's head, and arms wrapped around his bare waist.

"What happened to a bath?" he mumbled, though he didn't really have any complaints.

"I like this better." Roy tongue slicked along the scar where Ed's automail port connected, causing the boy to gasp and his fingers to tighten in the black strands of hair they were pressed against. "Sensitive?" Ed could feel Roy's smirk against his skin, but he didn't really care.

"Mm." was the only thing he could manage in reply. Roy repeated the action. Ed yanked the man's hair, moaning.

"I'm done." Ed fell backwards when the body behind him disappeared, his head going under the water for a second before he came back up. Water dribbled out it his mouth as he looked up at Roy disbelievingly, golden eyes wide as the man wrapped a towel around his waist.

"You bastard!" As he scrambled out of the tub after the Flame Alchemist, he almost fell back in, flesh foot slipping out from under him. But he caught himself on the side and pulled himself out.

"Oh, shit." Ed didn't even bother with a towel before he started running after the man, screeching profanities and threats. They were both sliding when they got to the hard kitchen floor. After Roy slipped and Ed slammed into him while he was trying to regain his balance, they wound up on the floor, the smaller of the two on top, hands on either side of the larger man's head and his knees on either side of his hips.

Roy's towel had come off somewhere on the stairs. Neither seemed to mind, though the floor was fairly cold. It was December, after all. In fact, Ed laughed.

"What?"

"Can I feel free to ride the Mustang?" Roy almost felt the need to choke at Ed's words, onyx eyes just a bit bigger than usual. "I'm kidding, Roy-Toy." With that, Ed got off of his superior, who stood as well. "For tonight, anyways." he called over his shoulder as he walked away. And Roy just stood and stared for a minute before following him up to the master bedroom. It would be the first time Edward slept in Roy's bed. It wouldn't be the last.

When Roy had dressed in his pajama pants- Edward slept in his boxers- and slipped into the large bed, the young alchemist automatically wrapped his arms around him, snuggling up closer and rubbing his cheek against the firm chest. Smiling, Roy reached over and flipped the lamp off before settling under the covers with Ed, his own arms wrapping around the teenager as his eyes closed.

* * *

**End of Chapter Five! And how was it? Great? Terrible? Loved it? Hated it? Made you totally fangirl all over everything and everyone within a hundred mile radius? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!  
**

**I got excited writing the end, and I kept fighting the fangirl-instincts. xD So, yeah, my beta caught a few mistakes around there. But I fixed them and it looks lovely now! I sat here for forever writing it (and starting on Chapter Six, so be ready, Ree!) so now my butt hurts. So I'm going to wrap this up and stand up for a second. xD**

**Edward: You heard her!**

**Roy: REVIEW, DAMMIT!**

**Me: Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Another chappy already? My beta thought the same thing. But, yes, (I had to stop there for a minute cos my mom was reading over my shoulder and I was all bug-eyed 0.0) I've already got another chapter done! I wasn't kidding when I said I'd already started on this one, and I worked on it a lot today. SO HERE YA GO!**

**Edward: She's done a few lines today.**

**Me: I have not! I've had a lot of candy.**

**Roy: Same difference. They'd both make you high.**

**Me: SHUT UP! Do the disclaimer again. **

**Roy: Madarao doesn't own Fullmetal Alchemist or its characters; Hiromu Arakawa does. The only things Madarao owns would be the plot and any OCs that might show up.**

**Edward: Warnings: Alcohol, Yaoi goodness (boy x boy lovey-doveyness), Madarao-is-a-crackhead craziness, half-naked Edward Elric**

**Me: You guys switched... HEY! I am not a crackhead! I told you that last chapter!  
**

* * *

"No! I don't wanna go! Roy, stop it! I told you that I'm staying here!" Roy winced at Edward's loud screams, fingers tightening on the boy's ankles as he pulled harder. "That hurts, dammit!" The automail leg jerked as Ed attempted to kick it, but it worked against him and his hand slipped from the headboard. He went sliding across the bed, boxers riding up, and wound up straddling Roy's hips at the foot of the bed, pouting up at the older alchemist. "Why do I have to go? It's not even _for _me. It's for you."

"I know. But I don't want to leave you here. Which means you're coming with me. Now come on." As Roy dragged him up, Ed bitched and moaned, shoulders slumping. Going to work, he got. But going to some stupid meeting/dance/dinner that the military was having? That just didn't make any sense. He'd never gone to military functions, and he didn't want to start now just because Roy didn't want to leave him alone for a couple of hours.

But he dressed anyways and they grabbed breakfast before heading out to the Command Center for paperwork and research. That is, when Ed wasn't sneaking kisses and nibbles. Just so he could say he'd tried, Roy constantly pointed out that the door to his office was unlocked and not everybody knocked. At which point Ed would back off for a little while, and then go right back to it.

Finally, Roy stretched and cracked his knuckles, then stood. "Time to go."

"Do I really have to go to that… thing?" Ed asked from the table, looking up from the open book and notes.

"Yes, you do. I told you that earlier." Roy replied, closing the book that Ed had been reading.

"I was hoping you'd have changed your mind." As he stood, his bottom lip poked out.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"I hate this!" The whining came from behind the bathroom door, along with a thud. Roy thought it was Ed hitting something, but he wasn't completely sure.

"Would you quit complaining?"

"I wouldn't have anything to complain about if you'd let me stay here!" Ed shoved the door open as he said it. Roy gaped. The golden haired boy was dressed in a black suit, a black dress shirt under the jacket. He was tucking a blood red tie underneath the jacket, stray strands of hair falling out of his bangs and over his eyes. His hair was already tied back in a ponytail.

They'd had to go out and get the suit, but Ed had insisted on wearing the usual combat boots. While Roy hadn't been sure if they'd made the right decision in the store regarding the suit, he was positive now. Ed looked absolutely amazing. It was a wonder he wasn't saying screw it, jumping on the boy, and taking the suit right back off. But, by some miracle, he didn't.

Clearing his throat, Roy asked, "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." And Ed pushed past him out the door, down the stairs, and grabbed his red coat off of the coat rack by the door. Roy followed, picking up his great coat and placing a hand on the younger alchemist's back to lead him out to the car. The whole ride there, he could feel Ed's glare on him, and he simply smiled. He knew the teen wouldn't stay mad at him for too long and would soon forgive him.

It looked as if most everyone was there when they finally arrived, and they were sure of it when they stepped in the room and it was filled. Ed shifted uncomfortably at his side, not liking having so many people crowded around. Not that they were literally crowded around him, but, every time he tried to move, he wound up bumping against someone else, which was very annoying. So he followed Roy to the bar, sticking close to the older man and trying to hit as few people as possible on the way there. He could tell that his partner didn't even bother with that.

Though he wasn't old enough, Ed got something to drink anyways- whiskey. Just a bit. And maybe it was too strong for his first drink, but, with all these people around, he needed it. Roy tried to talk him out of it, muttering under his breath right at the boy's ear about how he shouldn't get into drinking- not to mention that drinking alcohol when he was taking prescriptions couldn't be a good idea- and rolling his eyes when it didn't do any good.

After a few, Ed was drunk off his ass, and Roy was stuck supporting him while he stumbled around and giggled like a maniac. When Führer King Bradley walked up and Roy straightened and saluted, Ed almost hit the floor. But, fortunately, Roy caught him just in time, supporting the drunken boy with his left hand and saluting with the right. At least he had the good sense to stop laughing.

Whatever the Führer had been going to say, he didn't. "Is that Major Elric, Colonel Mustang?"

Roy swallowed hard as his hand dropped from his forehead. "Yes, sir."

"Is he-"

The Führer didn't get to finish before Ed pulled a face. "Oh shit." Then he promptly doubled over and threw up all over Bradley's shoes. Roy stared down at him, eyes wide, as the younger alchemist coughed and retched again, clutching his stomach.

"I-uh, Führer, sir-"

"Get him out of here, Mustang."

"Yes, sir." Roy helped Edward straighten up and put one hand under his elbow, wrapping the other arm around the boy's waist. Then he led him out of the building and let him stand in the cold air for a minute to (hopefully) help clear his head and rid him of some of the nausea. It seemed to help, for Ed quit leaning so much on the older alchemist after a few moments.

"I pissed him off, didn't I?"

"If someone threw up on your shoes, wouldn't you be pissed?"

Silence.

"Is he pissed at you, too?"

Roy stared at him, then gently pushed him forward. "Let's get to the car, okay?" Even though Ed seemed a little steadier now, Roy helped him into the car. As soon as both were in, the teenager let his head fall over onto the older man's shoulder. It stayed there the entire ride home, Ed occasionally making funny little noises.

Roy slid out of the car first, then scooped Edward up in his arms and carried him into the house. "You're a load of trouble, you know that?" he asked as a nose nuzzled against the crook of his neck.

"Mhm."

"Good." The Colonel sat Ed down on the bathroom counter and took the cap off a bottle of mouthwash, pouring some of the green liquid into the cap before handing it to the boy. "Here. Wash that taste out of your mouth." Ed nodded and emptied it into his mouth, swishing the burning liquid around for a minute before spitting it into the sink. "Better?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Go on to bed." Sighing, Ed dropped off the counter and walked- slightly unsteadily- to Roy's bedroom. He unbuttoned the jacket and threw it on the dresser, loosening the tie and yanking it over his head. Those two were soon followed by his pants and the dress shirt.

It was then that Roy walked in. Ed's back was turned to him, but even that was enough. And then the younger alchemist turned, grabbing Roy's hand and dragging him forward. Kissing like this was becoming a regular thing; he definitely didn't want it to stop.

Under the mouthwash, Roy could still taste the whiskey on Ed's breath. When the teenager pushed him down on the bed and straddled his hips, he decided he really didn't mind. His hands slid down bare sides to rest on his partner's hips, pinky on his left hand dipping under the waistband of the black boxers. He felt Ed moan as his tongue pressed against the slick inside of the teen's mouth. Then hips rubbed against his own and his fingers tightened on the tanned skin.

"Want you." Ed mumbled when he pulled away, cheeks flushed and lips bruised, swollen slightly.

"Where?" Roy asked, wanting to hear him say it.

"In me." And then Ed dragged him down into another heated kiss.

* * *

**Mmmm, sexiness! So, who wants a smutty, lemon-scented chappy next time? Show of hands? Loved this chapter? Hated it? Hate me? I WANNA KNOW, DAMMIT! So, review! =D**

**Edward: Damn you. You intoxicate me, make me throw up all over the Führer, and you won't even let me in bed with Roy.**

**Roy: You suck.**

**Me: Hey! You guys are getting in bed in the next chapter. Oh, crap! Spoilers! **

**Edward: Review! Now! I want Roy NOW!**

**Roy: Do eet!**

**Me: Haha! Ciao! (I'm such an evil authoress! D)**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**New chapter! Yay! This would have been up sooner, but my dad took my laptop because... Well, my brother and I got into a fight. So I couldn't finish it last night. BUT HERE IT IS! AND IT SMELLS STRONGLY OF A LEMON! Yes. xD Now, this is my first /real/ lemon, so don't be too harsh and stuff. I'll get better, I promise. I just need practice and stuff. Heh. **

**Right, so. Thank you to all my loyal reviewers! You guys keep me writing and I looooove you! And, also, thank you to my amazing beta, Pandah Rhia! She's my cousin, and she's the best beta I could have ever gotten! I love you so much! **

**Edward: Get on with it! I want Roy!**

**Roy: Disclaimer: Madarao does not own Fullmetal Alchemist or its characters; they belong to Hiromu Arakawa. The only things she owns are OCs that haven't shown up yet, and the plot. Thank you!**

**Edward: Warnings: Yaoi! Boy x Boy smexiness! This is a lemon, people, so beware! Foul language. Aaaand... I think that's it. Madarao is still a crackhead. **

**Me: I didn't even have to ask this time... HEY! I AM NOT A CRACKHE- Oh, forget it.  
**

* * *

Without breaking their kiss, Roy flipped them over so Ed was on the bottom. The jacket slid off with help from Ed's fumbling hands, and the boy almost choked him trying to get the tie off.

"Sorry, sorry! I didn't-"

"Shush." Slick warmth ran along the scar on his shoulder after the words left the Colonel's mouth. Mismatched fingers tightened on Roy's shoulders, and a gasp left Edward's lips. It sounded sort of like 'Again.' so he ran his tongue along the scar once more, even slower and covering the whole span of the pink, raised flesh on the front of his shoulder. This time, Ed moaned deeply, arching into it before yanking at Roy's shirt. Screw the buttons. It was just a shirt. Roy could replace it.

And, when Ed got finished, he'd have to. Half of the buttons were missing from where Ed had ripped them free. He'd heard them pitter-patter on the floor before he tossed the shirt to the side. This time, though, Ed didn't pause in taking off the older man's clothes; he proceeded to yank the suit pants from the paler body, followed by the boxers. He wasn't sure where they landed after they left his hands. Of course, he was still feeling slightly fuzzy from the amount of alcohol he'd had, so he really couldn't be blamed for doing some sort of stupid thing. What he was doing with Roy wasn't one of those things.

He rubbed his still-clothed crotch up against Roy's, but the man placed a hand on his hip and pushed him back down against the bed. "Wait." he breathed in the boy's ear, brushing the tips of his fingers down tanned, bare sides. He felt Edward shiver under him, saw his golden eyes flutter closed in pleasure. And then it hit him: This had to be Ed's first time.

"Y-you're a virgin, right, Ed?" At his superior's question, Ed shifted under him, causing them to rub against one another. Roy gritted his teeth so as not to make any noise.

"Yeah." Ed mumbled, cheeks a bright red from both their actions and admitting he'd never had sex before to a man who'd, he thought, had taken many people to bed with him. Whether they were all female, all male, or both, he wasn't sure.

Roy knew he'd have to be gentle with Edward since the teen had never done this before now. His fingers brushed against Ed's side again, going down to rub softly against the inside of the right thigh now. Ed hummed quietly, trying to shove his boxers off.

"Hot." he groaned. Smirking, Roy hooked his fingers around the waistband of the black boxers, dragging them down and dropping them at the foot of the bed.

"Better?"

"Mhm." Hands cupped the back of his knees and pushed them up, wrapping them around Roy's waist. The cool automail was a great contrast to his overheated skin, and it caused his breath to hiss out from between his teeth. Mismatched toes curled as hips bucked against him, sensitive flesh rubbing together and causing both males to moan. The friction was deliciously amazing, and Ed wanted to beg for more. All that came out was a slight whimper. Roy looked up at him, his own lust-ridden gaze locking with his partner's. Then he ducked down and nibbled the side of Ed's neck lightly. After keeping that up for a few moments, he bit down harder in a place easily covered, causing the blond-haired boy to gasp. His tongue ran along the spot where his teeth had just dug in, and he kissed it softly when Ed moaned.

"Roy, hurry it up." Ed wiggled his hips again, pushing back against Roy impatiently. The man grunted, pushed down on tanned shoulders, and leaned over to the bedside table.

"Gosh, you're impatient." he mumbled as he opened the drawer and rummaged around in it for a few moments. Finally, he produced a tube of lubricant. Ed's eyes were locked on it, head tilted back because he'd been curious as to what was being done.

"That's so it-"

"Doesn't hurt as much. Right." Roy finished for him as he leaned back and flipped the top open, squeezing a generous amount onto the palm of his hand. "Ready?" At a nod of Ed's head, he slid his hand down and rubbed the lube over the boy's entrance. Ed bit his lip hard to ensure that he wouldn't make any noise. When a slick finger slipped slowly past the tight ring of muscles, he wasn't sure if that would be enough to stop any sounds. And when Roy began thrusting that finger in and out, well, he almost screamed. Not from pain or discomfort, though there was a little bit of that there.

"Dammit, Roy. Hurry the hell uuuup." Being drunk made the second finger more bearable than it would have been otherwise. Oh, don't get him wrong, he could still feel the pain, the discomfort, of having something in there.

The third finger was even worse. Tears sprang to his eyes, and he squeezed them shut to hide that from Roy. But the man noticed anyways, and he leaned over to kiss them away softly. "Do you want to stop?" The deep voice made his eyes open again.

"N-no! Don't!" he replied, shaking his head from side to side. "I just gotta get used to it, is all." Roy slowly started moving his fingers again, even more gentle this time, and finally rubbed them against that special spot in Edward's body. The teen gasped, arching upwards into the other and tossing his head back. Smirking, Roy thrust his fingers against it a few more times before slipping his fingers out again. Ed let out a groan of disapproval, one of his eyes opening so he could glare at his lover.

"Don't give me that look." Roy made quick work of slicking up his length, though he did it thoroughly since this would be Ed's first time. It would hurt him, no doubt about that, but Roy wanted to make it hurt as little as he could. The tube of lube hit the floor when he shifted positions, hands on either side of Edward's head to hold himself up, positioned at the teen's entrance. "Ready?"

"Yeah." He could see Ed take a deep breath, and he chose that moment to push in. Pain flashed in golden eyes, tears clouding them, as teeth dug into a pink, bruised bottom lip. His head turned away as Roy swallowed a moan, and then the older man leaned over, murmuring sweet nonsense in his young lover's ear while trying to block out the immense pleasure.

After what seemed like ages to both of them, Ed finally opened his eyes and pushed back slightly against Roy, signaling that it was okay for him to move now. The man quickly obliged, pulling out almost all the way and shoving back in quickly, aiming for Ed's sweet spot. He knew he'd succeeded in that when Ed arched against him, moaning his name loudly and digging the nails of his flesh hand into the skin of his partner's back. A slow pace was set. One Ed wasn't too happy with.

"Fuck, Roy. For real!" he groaned, shoving his hips back roughly so maybe the other would get the hint that he wanted it faster. Apparently, he did, because he immediately sped up. "Oh Gooood." Ed moaned, digging his nails in again.

"Thanks, but Roy's fine." the older alchemist panted, managing a weak, cocky smile. Then Ed clenched unconsciously around him and he couldn't smirk anymore. All he could do was moan into the crook of Ed's neck and keep his hips thrusting into his partner.

A rough hand slid along his length, a gasp passing his lips. It ran up and down roughly, dragging moans of the Colonel's name and gasps from his lips, wiggling of his hips and thrusting into the hand. "R-Roy.. Nngh… I'm g-gonna-" He didn't have to finish. Well, the sentence, anyways. Roy got what he was saying. Of course, the thick white liquid spurting over his hand- and anywhere else it could reach- and Ed's inner walls contracting around him helped him get the picture.

Roy thrust in a few more times before he followed Ed over the edge, both seeing stars. Before he could collapse on top of the teenager, Roy slipped out and flopped over beside him on the bed. For a while, the only sound in the room was their heavy breathing. Then Ed turned over and wrapped an arm around Roy's waist, his cheek resting on the man's firm chest. His breathing slowly evened out.

Roy smiled down at him, then kissed the top of the blond head before falling asleep himself.

* * *

**So, I seriously want reviews for this one. Like I said, it's my first lemon and I wanna know how I did! Loved it? Hated it? Think I sucked and need to stay away from lemons forever? REVIEW DAMMIT!**

**Edward: Mm. I liked it! **

**Roy: So did I!**

**Me: Well, I know you two did. You finally got in bed together!**

**Edward: Yesssss.**

**Roy: REVIEW!**

**Me: AH! -falls out of chair-**

**Edward: Ciao!**

**Me: Hey! That's my line!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Dang, this authoress is on a roll! I'm just getting these chapters out like it's nothing. My beta is very surprised, I think. Speaking of my beta, I told her I'd do this: Pandah, you are epically awesome, and I love you so much for being the best beta I could ask for! =D Are you happy?**

**I'd like to tell all my loyal reviewers- gosh, I'm getting more of them now!- that they're awesome, too! Your reviews keep me writing! (That and I have a pushy beta.)**

**Edward: She'd also like to thank the people she buys crack from!**

**Roy: That's us!**

**Me: Neh! I don't do crack! And I didn't know you did, Roy. I thought Ed had given it up, but I guess I was wrong. o.O**

**Edward: Hey! We were just kidding!**

**Roy: -snickering- Dude, she called you a crackhead. **

**Me: Boys! Chill! Disclaimer and warning. Now.**

**Edward: Disclaimer: Madarao does not own Fullmetal Alchemist. She wishes she did, but they belong to Hiromu Arakawa. Someone should also tell her she cannot have Vic Mignogna.**

**Roy: Warnings: Mentions of sex- why's that warning even there after last chapter?- Madarao-is-a-crackhead-craziness, and... Wait, that's it. No cuss words in this chapter!**

**Me: I didn't put any in? Dammit! Oh. There was one! =D  
**

* * *

Pale hands slowly wrapped a new length of gauze around the old wound. It was scabbed over, itching from healing. Ed had scratched it through the thick white gauze too many times to count, no matter Roy's scolding him every time he did it. Today, Roy was taking Ed back to the doctor to have his wrist checked for infection- though he'd been taking the antibiotics like he should- and see how he was doing.

What with what had happened last night (even if he'd had a killer headache earlier) there was no way he could even fake being depressed. Maybe he'd be limping, but not depressed. It was cloudy, so he could easily blame the limping on his automail- the ports actually were aching, so it wasn't like he'd be lying. But the main reason was the aching in his backside. Which, by the way, Roy had found absolutely hilarious earlier that morning.

"Thank you." Ed whispered as Roy finished wrapping his wrist. Then his wrist was released and he slipped his hand into his pocket. "Let's just get this over with." They weren't going to work after the doctor. In fact, they were going out for lunch, then coming back home.

He wanted to say he wasn't going, but then Roy would just throw him over his shoulder and take him anyways. Actually, if he thought about it, maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. But he didn't to make the Colonel's job easier. That didn't mean he didn't stomp down the hall and slam the door as soon as he was outside. Roy came out a few minutes later, smiling amusedly at him, and unlocked the car doors so they could both get in.

"I hate this, you know." Ed mumbled on the way to the doctor's office, his head tilted over on the older man's shoulder.

"I know. But you should only have to go one time after this. Maybe not even then." Roy assured him, taking one hand off of the wheel and placing it on Ed's knee.

"Yeah, yeah. But I still hate having to go." As the words left his mouth, he felt lips press against the top of his head. They didn't stay for too long- Roy had to drive, after all- but it was enough to calm Edward down considerably. But he still didn't relax in the seat.

When they pulled up to the office, Roy helped Ed out and kept a hand on the teen's shoulder as they walked in. The Colonel stayed close as his subordinate signed in, and they sat side by side in the waiting room, a blond head lying on Roy's shoulder again.

"Edward Elric." the nurse called from the door leading back to the offices. The teen had almost fallen asleep by then, and he jolted to his feet. The older alchemist chuckled and stood up beside him, placing one hand on his younger lover's lower back and leading him forwards. The nurse weighed Ed and checked to see how tall he was. At which point Roy burst out laughing and Ed attempted to shoot daggers at him with his eyes, threatening him in a way that made the nurse gasp and cover her mouth. Roy shut up after that. Then the nurse led them to an examination room, took Edward's temperature, and left after telling them the doctor would be there momentarily.

It took about thirty minutes for the doctor to come in the door. Ed was beyond pissed at that point, and the only answers the doctor could get out of him were grunts.

"Are you seeing anyone, Mr. Elric?" the doctor asked as he took the gauze off and threw in in the garbage. Ed jolted, not because of the cool fingers pressing against the warm skin around where'd he'd cut himself- it was still sore and the gauze had kept the cool air from touching it. No, the question startled him.

"W-why?"

"Just making conversation." The doctor smiled reassuringly at his patient.

"Y-yes. Well, sort of."

"Oh? What does that mean?"

"It's sort of… Well, it's a new thing."

"Mm. What's her name?"

"Who said it was a girl?" Ed hadn't realized what he'd said until the doctor looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. Then he pressed his lips together and looked down at his knees.

"Alright, then. What's his name?"

"Uh." His eyes flickered over to Roy, who was standing beside the door. The most help the man offered was a shrug of his shoulders and a wave of his hand. "Roy." Dr. Somerfield- a different doctor than he'd had at the Military infirmary- looked over at Roy. The Colonel nodded, and the doctor looked back at Edward.

"Are you sexually active?" Ed coughed at the doctor's question, cheeks tinting a light pink color.

"What's that got to do with anything?" he exclaimed as the doctor began wrapping his wrist again.

"I just wanted to know in case anything comes up or you do have an infection, Mr. Elric. Nothing to worry about." That didn't mean Edward wanted to answer it, or that he felt comfortable answering it. He shifted uncomfortably on the examination table.

"Yes." he mumbled, looking at his knees again.

"For how long?" Dr. Somerfield had to wait a minute for his answer.

"Since last night." If possible, this answer was even quieter, head dropped even farther. Roy was grinning from ear to ear, still leaning against the wall. But he did notice how uncomfortable his young lover looked, so he walked over and sat down on the table beside him, hands clasped between his knees.

"Well, the wound doesn't seem to be infected, but I still want you to take those antibiotics. I'll call in and tell them that I want a refill for you. And I want you to stay on the medication for depression. You'll make sure he takes everything like he's supposed to, right, Mr. Mustang?" Somerfield asked, placing Edward's wrist back in his lap and looking at Roy.

"Of course, Dr. Somerfield." Roy replied.

"Thank you. You may pick up the prescription around 1:30 this afternoon." he said as he stood, tucking the clipboard under his arm. "I want to see you again in about a week, and you'll need to stay in the city until then. We'll decide when you can be sent out again that day, alright?" Ed nodded unhappily, still refusing to look at either man, then jumped off of the table and slid his hands in his leather pants pockets. "Have a good day, Mr. Elric."

"Yeah. Thanks." he replied as the doctor left the room. Ed's glare shot to Roy. "I hate you. You just enjoyed that sooo much." Still upset, his shoulders hunched, Edward limped out of the room. Roy smiled as he walked out after him.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;**

Lunch had been great; the restaurant had been nice, though not very fancy. Then they'd driven by the medicine shop and gotten his prescriptions. Almost the whole ride back, Ed stared at the bottle.

"They look different." he finally whispered, looking up at Roy.

"They're not different, Ed. They're the same ones you had last time."

"Says you." His eyes narrowed as he dropped the bottle of pills back in the bag and closed it again. "But I think they're different." This time, he laid his head over on the window, rubbing his leg where flesh and bone gave way to steel; the aching every time it rained did get annoying. He heard Roy sigh exasperatedly beside him, and he smiled. Golden eyes shifted over to the dark-haired man, fingers still working against his thigh. Fat raindrops began splattering against the windshield.

The limp was even worse when he got out of the car, the combination of his backside still hurting some and both of his automail ports aching. Roy unlocked the door and he hurried in out of the rain, throwing his coat on the rack before plopping down on the couch.

"Rainy days make the automail hurt, right?" Roy asked, sitting down beside him.

"The ports, yeah. I'm sort of used to it by now." But how could you ever really get used to the pain?

"Come here." Ed crawled up between the older man's thighs, leaning back against his chest. But Roy pushed him into an upright position again, hands resting lightly on his young lover's shoulders. Then he began to lightly massage through Ed's t-shirt, thumbs working gently right at the edge of the metal on the right and in almost the same area on the left. When Ed hummed softly, contently, Roy smiled and rubbed just a bit harder.

"Didn't know you knew how to do that." Ed mumbled softly, eyes closed and head tilted back slightly. Actually, there was probably a lot he didn't know about the Colonel. "Didn't know you knew how to cook, either."

"I figured as much. We're usually at each other's throats."

"Still are." _Just in a different way._ he finished in his head, smiling slightly. The older alchemist couldn't see it, though. His left hand slid down Ed's side, going up his thigh to rub around that automail port. Ed groaned, toes curling into the carpet. The way he was acting, they could have been in bed again. "Don't you dare stop, or I'll kill you." he mumbled.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Roy nuzzled the side of Ed's neck lightly, fingers still working against the other's skin.

* * *

**You know the drill! Loved it? Hated it? Hate me? Think I should break the pencil and never write again? Let me know! **

**I'm not sure how many chapters there are yet. I know we'll, more than likely, get into the teens with it, but I have to break it off somewhere. I don't want it to be unbearably long. (I told my brother I was going to make it go on forever, so no one tell him I'm ending it. -shifty eyes-) By the way, he was reading over my shoulder and stuff while I was writing the last chapter! And he's eight! o.O I have poisoned a child's mind... Yay! Until my parents find out.**

**Edward: You're rambling.**

**Me: You're getting a massage. Shush. **

**Edward: And it feels so good.**

**Roy: I do try. -cocky smirk- **

**Me: Shut up, you two. Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, I know what you're probably thinking: "Damn! She's already got another chapter up?" Well, the answer to that is, obviously, yes. And I'll tell you why. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for me, so I probably won't have that much time to write on this story. (I won't have my laptop. Little children at my grandmother's house... Not a good idea.) So I'll be finishing up that special Christmas story I promised you! It's actually almost done. I just have a bit of it left, and it's not on my laptop. So I'll be able to finish it or almost finish it tomorrow. **

**Thank you to my epically awesome beta, Pandah Rhia! I'm more than likely overworking her and she's going to wind up hating me, but meh. xD I still love her! And thank you to all my amazing reviewers! Please keep reviewing! They make me smile and giggle and feel all warm inside! =D**

**Edward: Disclaimer?**

**Roy: And the warnings?**

**Me: Be my guests.**

**Roy: Disclaimer: Madarao does not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Hiromu Arakawa does. Unless we are in Madarao's dream world. The only thing she owns in the _real_ world would be the OCs and the plot. **

**Edward: Warnings: Not too many, actually. Just Roy and I kissing, really. Depressed me. I don't think there's any cuss words, and the kissing's not too graphic. **

**Me: Quit rambling. Woohoo! Switching roles! Wait, you two switched roles up there!  
**

* * *

The past few days, Ed had seemed better. Happy even. But today, from the moment Ed stumbled out of bed, staring down at the ground and refusing to look at him, Roy knew something was wrong. Not a word had been exchanged between them all day, save for Roy telling him good morning. It was lunchtime now, and Edward was still sitting on the couch; his knees were pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, with his chin resting on them, dull eyes staring out the window at the sky.

"Ed, come on. You need to eat something." After all, the teen had skipped breakfast, and had almost skipped his medicine. He would have if Roy had placed them in front of him on the table and insisted he take them.

Ed blinked in response, grip on his legs shifting just slightly. Roy sighed and placed a hand on top of the blond head.

"Please, Ed?" When he still got no response, he sighed and stood up. "I'll be right back." he told the young alchemist quietly before leaving the room.

Not long after, Roy came back with sandwiches for the both of them; there'd been other choices, of course, but the sandwiches were easier to bring up to an office and dispose of afterwards. When he saw that Edward hadn't moved in the slightest, disappointment filled him, mingling with the worry and making his stomach twist uncomfortably. But he ignored it and sat down beside Ed, setting one of the sandwiches down on the table and opening the other.

"Here. Eat it." This time, Edward didn't even look at him; not even a finger moved. After a moment of holding the sandwich out, Roy finally sighed and pulled off a bit of it. Then he held it up to Ed's lips. "Eat. Now." Pale pink lips parted slowly after a moment, and Roy almost hugged him. The food was pushed inside his mouth, and he chewed for a moment before swallowing hard. For a few more bites, he cooperated, but then he stopped opening his mouth to accept the bits of sandwich that Roy offered him.

"Oh, come on, Ed. Just finish this and I'll leave you alone." This time, though, Ed didn't open his mouth, and the bread stayed pressed up against his lips. Finally, his hand dropped down onto his knee. He stared down at the bread. And then he got an idea.

He placed the bite between his teeth, reaching up and taking Edward's chin. As he turned the boy's head, he leaned forward to kiss Ed. The sandwich was eaten that way, Roy making sure no one was coming before each bite.

As the last bite was being slipped inside Ed's mouth, the door was slammed open. Roy must have jumped a foot in the air, crumbs littering the corners of his mouth. But Ed just sat there, gazing blankly at the door, the remainder of the sandwich hanging out of his mouth.

"Yo, Ro- What's up with him?" Maes Hughes stopped shortly, hand still in the air in greeting, that goofy grin of his fading slightly when he caught sight of Edward. Roy was still thanking whatever god or goddess might be up there that Hughes hadn't noticed the way he'd been feeding the young alchemist.

"He's sort of- uh- depressed."

"Well, maybe looking at some photos of my darling little Elysia will cheer him up!" Maes was immediately in front of Edward, pulling pictures of his family out of his uniform pocket and holding them up in front of the teen's face. As the man began gushing, Roy reached up and pushed the sandwich the rest of the way into Ed's mouth with his index finger, satisfied when it was chewed and swallowed. Then he stood up, picked up his own sandwich, and walked over to his desk.

Actually, he felt sorry for Edward. Maes hadn't let up yet, and Roy had a feeling his friend wouldn't for a long time. But, Ed didn't even seem to be paying attention. Sure, he was staring at the pictures, but it was with that same blank expression he'd had since this morning. Maes didn't seem to notice though, as he kept right on. Roy took that chance to sign papers. He really didn't want Riza blowing his brains out because he was behind on his paperwork. Again.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;**

By the time Maes had finally flipped through all the pictures and gushed over every single one, Edward staring at them the whole time, Roy was signing the last of his paperwork and cracking his knuckles. The sound caused dull gold eyes to flicker over to him, the first sign of life from Edward in a while. But he had to deal with Maes first.

"What did you want, Hughes?"

"Oh, I was just in town, wanted to come see you, Roy!"

"You heard about Edward."

"Yup!"

Roy sighed and leaned back in his chair, eyes flickering between his friend and his lover. "He was better. But today he just… woke up like this. I guess… Maybe that's just how this works. Some days are good, but he's going to have some bad days." Pinching the bridge of his nose, the Colonel closed his eyes. "I just- I don't like to see him like this, Hughes."

A hand was placed on his shoulder, and he looked up to see his friend smiling reassuringly down at him. "Yeah, I know, Roy." He didn't know the half of it. Ed, the boy he loved- Wait, when did he start loving him. But Hughes was still talking. "-just have to help him through it."

"Thanks, Hughes." They talked for a little while longer about military business, Maes bringing up his wife and daughter multiple times, before they finally said goodbye, Roy deciding it was time to take Edward home.

He had to help Ed stand, along with helping him walk out to the car and into it. Once in the car, the teen assumed the same position he'd been sitting in all day, this time staring down at his wrist while picking at the gauze absently. Roy gently nudged his hand away once he was in the car as well, but, as soon as he turned to driving, Ed began picking at it again. The Colonel didn't even try to stop him this time.

He helped Edward to the house, as well. Which was good, because, otherwise, his lover would have run into something or tripped multiple times if he hadn't have had help. Roy slipped the teen's jacket off, too, leaving Ed to wander to the couch and curl up again. Smiling sadly, he followed and sat down beside him, wrapping his arms around the smaller body and pulling it closer.

"Ed?"

Blink. "Hm?" It was slightly rough due to the fact that his voice hadn't been used all day, but it made Roy's heart beat fast all the same.

"Say something."

There was silence between them for a few moments before Ed cleared his throat and leaned back slightly. "I worried you." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, you did."

"I'm sorry."

Roy smiled and nuzzled his nose into blond, sweet-smelling hair. "Don't be. I'm just glad you're actually talking now, and not just sitting and staring."

Ed turned his head, pressing his lips against the other's. Comfort. That was what he needed, and that was what was offered here. Roy hadn't shoved him away. Not yet. And, if he did… Well, Edward didn't know what he'd do.

This kiss wasn't like some of their others; there was no teeth and tearing. It was sweet and gentle, much like their first one could have been if Ed hadn't been so impatient. This was exactly what Ed needed, and he relaxed into it, one hand going up to the side of Roy's neck and curving along his jaw.

When they broke apart for air, Edward let his head fall back against the older man's chest, hand remaining where it was. "I love you." he breathed, fingers curling slightly.

"I love you, too." It was instantaneous. The words had formed in his throat and spilled from his lips before he'd even had the chance to properly think about it. And he saw Edward smile slightly and close his eyes, a spark flaring in them before the lids came together. His heart sped up a bit in his chest. "I really do."

* * *

**Right! Another chapter up! It was sweet, don't you think? Well, don't just think it! Let me know, damn it! Review and tell me about it! **

**Edward: Aw. I was all depressed and stuff. **

**Roy: I was so worried.**

**Me: You guys get out of the goddamn emo corner! **

**Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**Yeah, so I decided to take a break from my mad-writing-spree. I took a few days off. I'm allowed that, right? **

**Edward: No!**

**Me: Well, I don't care what you say! I'm gonna take breaks whenever I want, so can it!**

**Edward: We-**

**Roy: You should listen to her. I think her head's about to explode. **

**Me: Thank you, Roy. I'm sick again. xD Somebody upstairs hates me. Anywho! Is anybody else having trouble pulling up their story stats? It won't let me. Ugh. Right! So!**

**Thank you to my amazing beta, Pandah Rhia! She beta's this story amazingly, doesn't she? And thank you to all my loyal reviewers/readers! I love you guys and I seriously wouldn't write without you! **

**Disclaimer and Warning time!**

**Roy: Disclaimer: Madarao does not own Fullmetal Alchemist; if she did, Ed and I would be fucking in every episode/volume. The only thing she owns is the plot, since no OCs have appeared. **

**Edward: Warnings: Foul language, Madarao-is-a-crackhead craziness, authoress ranting, and, look, it's lemon scented. **

**Me: Lovely, Roy. AND I AM NO- Fuck it. I give up.  
**

* * *

The sun was trying to shine through the large window in the Colonel's office, but it wasn't having much luck. Clouds were obscuring it again, spread through the sky. Ed's eyes traced it from the couch, book open on his knees. This was one he'd read many times. In fact, almost every book in here, he had read. And the ones he hadn't didn't look very promising in the first place. He sighed, and Roy looked up at him.

"I'm going to go to the library. Look for some more books." he said, closing the one that had been in his lap and setting it with the others on the table. As he got to his feet, Roy's pen was placed in a cup with the others.

"Would you like me to go with you?" Ed smiled at the question, turning his back to his lover to hide it and pulling his coat on.

"Nah. I'll be fine on my own. You just do your paperwork, Colonel." He heard the other groan quietly behind him, then the clink of the pen being brought out of the cup again. The last thing he heard was Roy calling 'Be careful!' after him and the skritch-scratching of a pen point against paper as the dark-haired man began signing again.

Chuckling, he nodded to Hawkeye and Havoc in the hall. The trigger-happy lieutenant placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Where are you going, Edward?" she asked calmly, eyes boring into his. Was he not allowed to go anywhere on his own now? Apparently the Colonel trusted him enough to let him loose. Then again, he'd always thought Riza was more level-headed, even if she did point guns at everyone's heads for little to no reason at all.

"The library. Colonel Mustang knows. Do I need a babysitter to go there, too?" Ed's golden eyes narrowed slightly, but, at the look Hawkeye gave him, he decided it was too risky.

"No. I just wanted to know where you were headed and if the Colonel had given you permission." At the blond woman's words, Ed felt his bottom lip poke out of its own accord.

"You don't trust me."

"Not as far as I can throw you."

"I'll be fine. I promise. And I'm not planning anything. If I'm not back in an hour and a half, you can even send someone to check on me." Normally, he wouldn't have offered, but he knew everyone was worried about him. And, much as he hated having bodyguards or being treated like a kid, he also didn't want everyone to think that he'd try to kill himself every chance he got.

Hawkeye seemed to think about it for a moment, then she finally relented. "Alright, Edward. Havoc will be there if you're not back."

"What?" The unlit cigarette almost fell out of the man's mouth as he looked incredulously from Hawkeye to Edward. He took the cigarette out of his mouth to unsure its safety, stopping on the woman. "Why me?"

"Because I said so, Havoc. Now don't complain and get back to work." Hawkeye didn't miss a beat. And neither did Edward, who was already starting back down the hall again.

"Alright then! See ya later!" he called over his shoulder, then broke out into a run. Riza was left shaking her head after him, then turning and grumbling, "That boy." under her breath before walking off in the direction she'd been headed. Havoc followed behind, continually grumbling under his breath, hoping Riza didn't hear half of what he was saying.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

It took Havoc a while to find Ed in the library, mainly due to the fact that the blond alchemist was hidden behind stacks of books. "Boss. Not doing anything stupid, are you?" When the boy's golden eyes continued running across the page, taking in all the words, and he didn't look up, Havoc sighed and reached over, plucking the book from Edward's hands and closing it on a finger.

"Hey!"

"Boss, you've been here for about two hours. Riza's convinced herself you're dead in a gutter somewhere; even Roy's been asking about you."

"Roy's been asking?" Ed stood from his seat, wide eyes on Jean Havoc.

"Yeah. Strange, huh? But you should- Er, okay, then. Seems like you're on that. Need help with-"

"Nope! I got it! Just get the door, would ya?" Ed placed the last book on the stack- not near as tall as the one he'd carried to Colonel Mustang's office the other day- and carried it out the door Havoc was holding open for him. "Thanks!" he called when he heard it shut. Military boots fell in step beside his combat boots as they walked up to check out the books, then again as they left the library to go back and assure everyone that the Fullmetal Alchemist was still breathing.

"I think he's even more worried about you now than he usually is." Havoc stated, pulling the cigarette from his lips for a moment, then putting it right back.

"He worries about me?" Ed had sneaking suspicions he did before, but then he'd laugh them off, call himself crazy for thinking it, and go on with his business.

"Oh, yeah. Every time he sends you out, he worries his head off about whether or not you're okay. Even asks some of us like we'd know." Ed's heart sped up in his chest at Havoc's words, and, had he not being carrying a large stack of books, he'd have taken off running to get back to Roy. As it were, if he'd done so, he'd have fallen flat on his face, one book digging into his ribs and the rest scattered all around him. Then Havoc would've laughed his ass off, helped him pick up the books, and told anyone and everyone about it later. That idea really didn't appeal to Edward, and so he walked like a normal person until the door to Roy's office was opened.

The dark-haired man was still signing. Only, now, a pen cap was between his teeth. Ed worked up a smirk, setting the books with the others on the table. Havoc left the room as Roy looked up, door closing almost-soundlessly behind him. "Well, don't take it out on the pen cap just because you're worried." he said, leaning over the desk and plucking the cap from between the other man's teeth. One could clearly see where they'd dug in, indenting in the plastic. It might not fit the pen anymore. "I mean, I know it was the first time I've really been out of anyone's sights- besides going to the bathroom and showering- bu-"

Smooth, slick lips stopped his own from moving. Not that he was complaining. Quite the opposite, in fact; it was like their first kiss all over again. Only, this time, it was rougher, their tongues pushing and their teeth tearing. It wasn't long before Roy was in front of him and Edward was leaning back against the desk. The papers were pushed aside, a few even falling to the floor. His bright red coat was thrown aside, boots toed off and kicked away soon after.

One pale hand placed in the bend of Ed's knee, the other cupping his erection through leather trousers that would be gotten rid of soon enough. His moan was swallowed before it could leave his lips, those fingers on his nether regions squeezing and then releasing. Even through the leather, it felt absolutely amazing, drawing a choked gasp from Ed's throat. They slid up to undo the button on his pants. Those soon followed the coat, boxers still inside the leather.

Mismatched legs wrapped around Roy's waist; an automail hand slid between his own thighs rubbed against the hardness in the front of the man's uniform.

"No lube." Roy grunted in Ed's ear, leaning low over him and pushing into the hand.

"Doesn't matter." Ed used his free hand to guide one of Roy's up to his mouth, fingers passing his lips so his tongue could twist around them instead. His eyes were on Roy, but the man's onyx eyes were locked on the place where his own fingers disappeared past bruised lips, seemingly mesmerized. Ed grinned and let them go with a quiet _pop!_ "Now. Good enough, right?"

"We'll see." His automail hand moved and Roy's hand took its place between his thighs, wet fingers pressing against his entrance. They kissed as Ed was prepared, slowly and thoroughly, not a noise making it out of his mouth before the other silenced them. And then, as soon as Roy had teased that bundle of nerves hidden inside him a couple of times, the fingers were replaced with something thicker- better. There was still discomfort, pain even, but it didn't last near as long as it had last time.

Ed nodded for Roy to go ahead, and he could swear they were already moving the desk closer to the window. His heels dug into his partner's back, right at the base of his spine, fingers scraping at the military jacket.

One particular thrust knocked the cup of pens over, scattering the contents everywhere. And, almost at the same time, Roy hit that spot. "_AWWWWWFUUUUCCCK! AHSHITDAMN!_" His back arched up into the other's chest, still covered by that stupid jacket.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

Outside Colonel Mustang's office, Riza Hawkeye was handing Jean Havoc a file so he'd actually do some work instead of sitting around, chewing on a cigarette, and throwing paperclips at random passerby.

_Crash! _"_AWWWWWFUUUUCCCK! AHSHITDAMN!_"

Both soldiers snapped to attention, racing for the door of the Colonel's office. Hawkeye was the one who wrenched it open, Havoc poking his head in behind her. All they could see were bare legs wrapped around the Colonel's waist- steel and flesh toes curled- and fingers grappling at the man's back; there was a mess of pens and papers on the floor, not to mention the cup the pens had been in; Roy was bent on over Fullmetal- there was no mistaking the legs and hands- hips thrusting roughly into him.

"Holy shit!" The cigarette dropped from Havoc's lips to the carpet at his feet as the profane word left the gun-bearing woman's mouth- the first he'd ever really heard from her.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;**

Edward shot up on the desk at the sound of Riza's voice, Roy slipping out of him in the process. When he saw both Hawkeye and Havoc standing in the door, gaping at them, he pushed back, ultimately flipping over the other side of the desk. After a moment, he peeked over the top. Neither of the other's besides Roy- who was zipping his pants and turning around to face them- had moved. Havoc's mouth was still open in shock; Riza's eyes were still wide as saucers.

"Guess I forgot to lock the door." he joked from his spot on the floor, chuckling weakly. Three pairs of eyes turned to him and Ed almost ducked down again. But he didn't, shoulders lifting as one corner of his mouth lifted slightly.

"I think we should talk." Roy finally said, black eyes closing as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Right. Could someone hand me my pants?" Riza choked at Ed's question, quickly excusing herself and stepping around Havoc.

"We'll… We'll give you a minute, Boss. Chief." The door closed behind the blond man in the blue uniform.

"We fucked up."

"Big time." Ed agreed as he got up and walked around to the couch, where his pants had landed. He picked them up from the back, hopped around until he was in them and his boxers, then searched for both of his shoes.

"Will we get in any trouble?"

"I don't think Hawkeye or Havoc would say anything to anyone else. Especially if I asked them." Roy leaned against the desk Edward had just been lying on, arms crossed over his chest as he watched Ed pull the shoes on.

"Oh. Good. Because I'd hate if we lost our jobs over this." Ed mumbled into his knee. Then he pushed to his feet and sighed. "Let's just get this over with."

* * *

**So... My head's gonna explode. Like, seriously. I have serious sinus issues, I think, and blowing my nose doesn't help. I have to go back to school tomorrow, so the people there are gonna irk me. AND I haven't finished reading "A Christmas Memory" so I can take my fucking test on it. So I'm a have to read that really soon unless I wanna be fuck up right here and the end and not get a scholarship. o.o (Yeah, I know I'm only a freshman, but that doesn't even matter!)**

**Edward: See? I told you there'd be ranting.**

**Me: Shut the hell up!**

**Roy: Do you have a death wish or something?**

**Edward and I: -staring at Roy- **

**Me: Have you not been reading the story?**

**Roy: Right...**

**Me: So! I'll quit ranting. Liked it? Loved it? Hated it? Want me to break my pencil in half and burn it? REVIEW, DAMMIT, REVIEW! So I can know. =D CIAO! (I finally got to say it again!)**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Another week, another chapter. I'm going back to school again, so this story will probably be updated every weekend. **

**Thank you to my amazingly epic beta, Pandah Rhia, for beta'ing this chapter as well. (She always does it so quick!) And thank you to all my lovely, amazing, loyal reviewers! I love you all! **

**Alright, Ed and Roy, get on with the disclaimers and warnings. **

**Ed: Huh. She didn't ramble. **

**Roy: It's a fucking miracle.**

**Me: You two are the ones who're rambling now! Get on with it!**

**Ed: Pushy. Disclaimer: Madarao does not own Fullmetal Alchemist or its characters; Hiromu Arakawa does. The only things she owns are the plot and OCs. **

**Roy: Warnings: Thoughts of suicide, mentions of boyxboy sex, maybe a cuss word or two.  
**

* * *

"Well, uh, Ed and I are… together." Roy started, leaning back in his chair. His legs were crossed, expression set. Ed could tell he was anxious about their reactions.

"We gathered, Colonel." Riza sounded much calmer now. It might have been because Ed's pants were on, but that was just a shot in the dark.

"B-but he's a minor and… he's _Ed_!" Havoc blurted, cigarette between his fingers. He'd already gotten a new one. The one that had been in his mouth earlier- the one that had dropped out of his mouth when he and Riza had caught Ed and Roy- had been disposed of. The moment he had walked back through the door, in fact. Roy had insisted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ed snapped, moving to get up off of the couch.

"Fullmetal. Havoc." Roy's crisp voice and the use of the name the military had given him had Edward sinking back in his seat, eyes on his knees once more. "Now. I'm aware of the fact that Edward is still a minor, just as I am aware that he is, in fact, Edward, Havoc. I'm asking you, the both of you, not to breathe a word of this to anyone. Can I trust you?" Roy watched them over steepled fingers, listening to his own heartbeat tick away time as they considered.

"Of course, Colonel Mustang. Always." Hawkeye was the first to answer, and it was just as Roy knew it would be. Riza had always been by his side, and he doubted she would stop just because he'd chosen to be with Edward.

"Yeah, I'll keep it to myself. Figured you'd both end up together eventually, anyways." Havoc finally said, grinning. It turned into all-out laughter when both Ed and Roy sputtered, looking from each other, to Havoc, and repeating the process. "Alright Chief. I'll see ya later." The blond man waved over his shoulder as he left, cigarette back in his mouth. Riza stood.

"You're dismissed, Lieutenant Hawkeye." Roy said, not looking from Ed. Riza Hawkeye nodded, saluted, and left the room. He and the younger alchemist stared at each other for a few quiet minutes, then Edward got up and sat down on the desk in front of Roy. The cup had been put back in its rightful spot, almost all of the pens filling it again- there were a couple under the desk and the couch that they'd missed.

"Think they'll say anything?"

"I trust them not to."

"Trust can be betrayed." Ed pointed out, crossing his legs and supporting himself with his automail arm.

"That's true." Roy replied, dropping his arms to the rests on the chair. "But I don't think they will." The blond nodded thoughtfully, foot bumping against Roy's knee as it bounced lazily.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

He'd remembered to take his pills today. Riza's gun had caught his eye. Thoughts- ones that had been absent from his mind since he'd come to live with Roy- flashed through his head. For a second, he thought he'd reached for it. His fingers twitched. Riza looked at him and smiled. He shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled back weakly. Then he raced back into Roy's office, threw his arms around the older man's middle, and he buried his face in the offered chest.

"Ed?" Roy sounded surprised. Edward just shook his head slightly, not letting go, and Roy put his arms around the teen in return.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

The pills made quiet noises when Ed shook it, eyes narrowed at the offensive white things. The cap twisted off easy enough, then he turned it upside down over the toilet. There wasn't really any splash when the pills hit the water.

"Ed! What the hell are you doing?" Ed heard pounding footsteps before the orange prescription bottle was taken from his hands. The blond looked up. Roy was looking at the slowly disintegrating pills in the toilet water.

"I want Dr. Neumann as my doctor, and I'm not taking those anymore." Ed mumbled, flushing the toilet.

"What? Why?"

"Because I… The pills, they…"

"Ed, what did they do to you?" Strong arms wrapped around him once again, the empty pill bottle forgotten on the bathroom counter. His cheek rested on the light-colored dress shirt; there'd be the impression of a button right below his cheek bone when he moved again.

"I saw Riza's gun yesterday. After I took them, y'know." Ed swallowed, closing his eyes and tightening his grip on Roy's shirt. "And… for a moment, I mean… I wanted to use it. To turn it on myself. It's the first time since I came to your house. And so I want the doctor from the military hospital and whatever he had me on." Roy's arms had tightened around him, pulling him flush against the man.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Ed shrugged, eyes rolled towards the floor. "Didn't wanna talk, I guess."

"Doesn't matter. You should've told me whether you wanted to or not." The older alchemist sighed, grip loosening on Edward by just a bit. "Alright. I'll talk to Dr. Neumann and get you in with him."

"Thanks."

A kiss to the top of his head was his answer.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"Mr. Elric. So nice to see you when you're not bleeding to death." Dr. Neumann was smiling good-naturedly at him, and Ed made an attempt at a half-smile. Of course, not taking medication for depression was almost as bad as taking those pills he'd flushed two days ago. He was actually sitting up now, legs swung over the side of the mattress instead of hugged against his chest. Roy was standing at the head of the bed, arms behind his back. He was in his military uniform, whereas Edward hadn't bothered to change out of the black sweats and gray t-shirt. :What seems to be the problem? I didn't expect you back."

When Ed didn't respond, Roy cleared his throat. "Fullmetal ran out of the prescription you gave him. I took him to a new doctor and he got another prescription. But when he started using the new pills, things got worse. He wanted to come back to you."

The doctor nodded and lifted Ed's chin so he could see the teen's face. Dull golden eyes- complete with dark circles- stared blankly back at him. It was a miracle nobody could feel Roy tense. "Any more thoughts of suicide?" the doctor asked.

Ed didn't react for a few moments. Then, after he blinked slowly, he nodded his head.

"Tried it again?"

At this, Edward shook his head after a moment's pause.

"Alright. I'll put him on the first prescription again. You'll be able to pick it up in about forty-five minutes, and I want him to take one immediately after. Once everyday after that, too. You'll make sure he does that, won't you, Colonel Mustang?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. He can go back to running around in four days, as long as he doesn't seem depressed. Keep an eye on him whenever you can, Colonel." Dr. Neumann said as he left the room. Ed was almost ready to go back? Roy really didn't want the teen to leave yet, but he _did_ want Ed to accomplish his goals.

"Come on, Ed. Let's go." Roy said quietly. The blond-haired teen slid off of the bed, arms pushing him off. The older alchemist led him out with a hand on his mid-back.

* * *

**As you can probably tell, Fading Too Fast is coming to an end. There we be a few more chapters, and then that'll be it. I know, I know. Everybody is so sad now. But I'll still be working on Perfect Lies and Absolute Truths, and I've got an idea for a Ouran High School Host Club HikaKao fic that I might write. xD So, no, you'll never hear the end from me! =D**

**Now that I've finished with that, what did you think of my new chapter? Loved it? Hated it? Do you want me to fucking break my pencil in half, burn it, and never pick up another one? LEMME KNOW, DAMMIT! **

**Ed: Right. So it's gonna end with me dead, isn't it?**

**Roy: Don't be so morbid, Ed.**

**Me: How the hell did you get you dying at the end from all of that?**

**Ed: -shrugs- You made me all depressed.**

**Roy: It doesn't mean anything. **

**Me: Somebody's paranoid. But we'll leave you there! Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Woohoo! Another chapter from the most amazing person ever: ME! **

**Edward: Someone's acting conceited today. **

**Me: I'm always conceited. -sniff- I'm such a cynical person.**

**Roy: Well, it gets really annoying, and no one cares about that, so shut up. **

**Me: Wah! You guys are mean! -hides in tree- **

**Roy: I ain't following her up there. **

**Edward: Neither am I.**

**Me: Aw, you two never climbed trees as kids? xD Anyways, _I'm_ going to do the disclaimer and warning this time! =D**

**Disclaimer: I, Madarao, do not and never have owned Fullmetal Alchemist, unless we are in my dreams. If I _did_ own this totally awesome anime/manga, Roy and Edward would be lovers by now, Winry would be a slut in a red-light district and have gotten killed by a horny drunk guy a long time ago, and MAES HUGHES WOULD'VE NEVER FUCKING DIED BECAUSE THAT WAS A SAD FUCKING PART!**

**Warnings: Edward-has-a-terribly-fuckingly-bad-potty-mouth, two dudes making out in an office chair, I-fucking-hate-Fuhrer-Bradley, and superduper-amazingly-cute-Eddo-cuteness! **

**Also, this chapter is not beta-read. Please excuse any mistakes. I love you, Pandah, and you're amazingly awesome, but I was being lazy and didn't feel like sending it to you. xD  
**

**Roy: -whispers- She found your crack, didn't she?**

**Edward: Why does everyone think I'm on crack? I'm leaving! -stomps out-**

**Roy and I: Nooooo! Ed-Edward! T_T  
**

* * *

The bag from the medicine shop was stowed innocently in the top drawer of his desk. They'd gotten back to headquarters about twenty minutes ago. Ed was already curled up on the couch under a soft, baby blue blanket, quiet snoring emitting from behind parted lips. After much nagging from a certain colonel, he'd finally taken one of the pills prescribed by Dr. Neumann. They weren't miracles in hard coating, though; he'd gone to sleep immediately after, mumbling that he was tired and saying nothing else.

Roy pretended to do his work while watching the blond over top of the large stacks of paperwork Hawkeye had brought in for him earlier. The gun-bearing lieutenant had left as soon as the paperwork had been deposited on her superior's desk, promising to be back later. And, while Roy was worried that she'd shoot him for not actually working, he was even more worried about Edward, even if the boy was currently sleeping.

Occasionally, he actually would skim something and sign it, just so he could tell Riza he'd really done something. Most of the time, though, they went unread and/or unsigned.

"Colonel Mustang, sir!" Riza sounded tense as she hurried through his office door. Roy looked up, noticing that the soldier didn't salute like she usually did. "Fuhrer King Bradley is here; he wants to see you."

"What?" Roy's eyes widened as he finally realized why Riza was so tense. Quickly, he stood and hurried to the door. Before he'd gotten farther than the front of the desk, though, the dark-haired leader had walked through the door, all smiles. Roy stiffened and saluted, Riza following suit seconds after. And Ed was still snoring on the couch. Any other time, the colonel would have automatically jostled the teen awake. As it was, circumstances were different, and waking him would do more harm than good. Mostly in Fullmetal's case. So he stayed ramrod straight, side of his right hand pressed to his forehead, staring at Bradley.

"Mr. President. You needed to see me, sir?" Only those closest to him could detect the note of nervousness in Roy's voice.

"Relax, Mustang." Bradley said, still smiling. His arms were behind his back. Made you wonder if he carried a gun, what with him always standing like that. Roy did as he was told, dropping his salute. His shoulders were still tense, though. After all, the _Fuhrer_ had come to see him about something- whatever it was having yet to be discussed. "Now. I haven't heard anything on the Fullmetal Alchemist lately." It appeared that Bradley had finally noticed that Edward was asleep on the couch. He studied the major quietly for a moment. "What's wrong with him?" he finally asked.

"Depression, sir." The leader of their country gave him a look as if telling him to continue. "He's attempted suicide. The doctor insisted he be monitored for a while. Fullmetal will be allowed to leave in about four days if all goes well."

"I see…" Bradley turned and waved over his shoulder. "I'll be che-"

"Fuhrer Bradley?" The voice cracked with sleep, so quiet the three other in the room could barely hear it. The three turned to see Ed propped up on one elbow, one hand rubbing his eyes. Those gold eyes widened as it finally sank in, and he belatedly saluted.

"At ease. I just came to see why you'd been laid up, Fullmetal. I knew something wasn't right when I hadn't heard of any incidents." Bradley smiled. "No need to worry. But, unfortunately, I can't stay long. I was just on my way out. Goodbye, Edward, Roy, Riza." he said as he left. They all three stared for a few moments. Ed was the first to move, shrugging and then pulling the blanket tighter around himself.

"Well, that was… unexpected." he mumbled. His voice was still a bit scratchy from having just woken up. Riza and Roy agreed with nods and grunts.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"Feeling better?"

"Kiss me and I will be." Ed mumbled, leaning closer. For the past few minutes, he'd been standing at Roy's elbow, watching his lover sign papers. And, finally, Roy had started giving him his full attention.

"You don't really want that, do you?" Roy asked, smirking. They were closer now, noses brushing as their heads tilted.

"Don't be a bastard. Of course I do, or I wouldn't ha-" The sentence was cut off when Roy gave him what he wanted. It lasted a few seconds before Roy gave him time for a breath, then they were back at it. Ed straddled the older man's hips, one arm around his shoulders and the other cupping the back of his neck. "Taste good." he groaned, pulling away for air. The dark-haired man licked and sucked and nibbled his neck. Moaning at the ministrations, the younger moved against him eagerly and then-

And then the door opened.

"Fuck it! Again? Really? What the fuck is with the goddamn door always fucking ope-

"B-Brother?"

Edward scrambled out of Roy's lap, realizing that, even if Alphonse hadn't seen everything, he'd seen enough.

"I-I'll come b-back later!"

"Wait! Al! Alphonse!" But the suit of armor was already out of the rom and slamming the door behind him. They could still hear him running.

"Everybody keeps fucking walking in on us. We need to start remembering to lock the damn door." Ed mumbled, automail hand covering part of his face. I should go talk to him."

"He's probably freaking out."

"Shut up. I already know that, bastard. You're no fucking help."

"Just get up and go talk to him."

"Fine." Ed grumped, stomping out after his brother.

"Have fun." Roy called after him.

"Bastard!"

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"What was that, Ed?"

"You're not clueless, Al; I'm sure you know what that was."

"But… with Colonel Mustang? Ed, you're just a teenager; a minor! Mustang is twenty-nine years old!"

"I know that! And I don't give a damn!" Ed snapped, crossing his mismatched arms over his chest. They were both silent for a few moments.

"Do you love him?"

Ed pursed his lips for a minute. "Yes."

Alphonse sighed. "Yeah, alright. What's wrong with you, anyways? You haven't called. I was really worried."

The blond took a deep breath, staring intently at his younger brother. He was going to tell him. That'd been decided days ago. "Al, I- the doctor said I have depression and-" He broke the sentence off there and pulled the gauze back from his wrist, holding it up. It was barely there now, only a bit of a scab and the scar to stand as proof of what he'd done. And Alphonse gasped, glowing red eyes staring at his brother's- the only family he had left- wrist.

"W-Why? How c-could you, B-Brother?" Al sounded on the verge of tears- if a body-less suit of armor could cry.

"I-" How did he even begin to explain this? He pinched the bridge of his nose, not meeting Alphonse's gaze. "There was a lot on me; it really started… to get to me, ya know? And I-I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I'm so sorry, Al. I didn't- It hurt when I thought you'd be alone. But, I… couldn't." Turning his head to the side, pulling his legs up onto the bench. They were outside in the courtyard behind Central HQ. It was quiet; the best place for them to talk about this. "I'm sorry, Al. So, so sorry." There were tears in his eyes again. They blurred the courtyard, and he reached up to scrub them away. Who cared if his brother saw him cry? It was nothing compared to the scar on his wrist.

"We could've talked, Ed. Or taken you to the doctor, or something. You didn't have to try to kill yourself!: Al's voice broke in a couple of places, and Ed couldn't bring himself to look.

"What's done is done, Alphonse. It's all in the past, and I can't change a damn thing." _Would I? Even if I had the chance? _he thought, frowning slightly.

"Why wasn't I told, at least? Why'd you lie?"

Ed took a deep breath and settled his chin on his knees, fingers of his right hand pulling on the sweat pants. "I wasn't sure how to tell you. I-I was scared… of how you'd react. Of admitting it to you, too. So Roy took me in and let me stay with him; doctor didn't want me to try anything again. But he says I can leave in a few days."

More silence.

"Are you going to miss him?"

A glare was shot his way, half-hearted as it was. "Yes." Then there was a long-suffering sigh. "But getting your body back will be my main focus. He understands; I've no doubt about that."

"Will you be happy?"

"I'll only be truly happy when you're in the flesh again. And, if he's worth it, he'll wait."

"I hope he is, Brother."

_Me, too. _

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

_Three more days. _

The thought had just occurred to him, while he was staring out of the window of his office. Edward had run out after his brother not long ago, and Roy had turned to think. Now he couldn't get that one thought out of his head. He buried his face in his hands, sighing.

_What will happen when he leaves? Will we mean anything?

* * *

_

**And so, chapter twelve of Fading Too Fast comes to a close! Liked it? Hated it? Want me to break my pencil and never, ever in a bajillion years unless I'm going to kill myself with it pick it up again? Let me know in a review! =D Anonymous reviews have been enabled, but that doesn't mean I want flames; it simply means I'm being considerate for those who don't have an FF account or are too lazy to sign in. **

**Right, so I'm planning two more chapters and an epilogue for this story. Also, I have another couple of RoyEd story ideas floating around in my head. (Yo, brain, why you keep coming up with new ideas when I'm not even finished with the old ones? Come up with ideas for these first! Brain: Sorry! I thought you /wanted/ new story ideas! -glares-)**

**Edward: In other words, she just wants to torture me some more. **

**Me: Actually, in one, you do get tortured. -evil grin-**

**Roy: By me, right?**

**Me: Psh. No. **

**Roy: You've been cheating on me, Edward?**

**Edward: I never said that, bastard!**

**Me: Okay, Roy and Edward are now engaged in a fight. Their clothes shall soon be all over the place, so I gotta go get my camera. Ciao! R&R, DAMMIT!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Woohoo! I'm really on an updating roll today! All of my stories now have new chapters! So, here's the next chapter of Fading Too Fast. I'll go on and let you read it, then ramble at the end. Deal? =D**

**Edward: Oh, great. She's gonna talk a lot again.**

**Roy: We knew this would start again soon. Else the world would've ended. **

**Edward: It couldn't have lasted a bit longer, though?**

**Roy: She loves to torture us. **

**Me: Ah, shut up, you two!**

**Thanks: Thank you to all my reviewers, especially Tamyou and Narutard since they /always/ review, and Story/Author Alert/Favoriteers! You guys make me so happy and keep me writing! Thank you to Pandah Rhia for always pushing me to write! I might not ever get a chapter finished if not for her pushing me. xD**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own this anime/manga. It still belongs to Hiromu Arakawa, unless we have somehow been transported into my dreams. **

**Warnings: Foul language, smexy boyxboy action meaning LEMONS (two, smexy scenes, to be true), Winry-is-a-whore-I-want-her-to-die, I-fucking-hate-Pride/Wrath/whatever-the-fuck-hommunculus-he-is, Madarao-is-a-crack-head-craziness. **

**Oh, and, in case you couldn't figure it out already, the flashback is in italics and is between these:** ***~~~~~~~~~~***

**So, enjoy the story! Woohoo!**

_

* * *

He's leaving tomorrow. _Onyx eyes slid across the page, not really taking in what they were seeing. His heart clenched painfully in his chest at the thought of Edward boarding the evening train out tomorrow, his brother once again with him as they returned to the task of sniffing out the Philosopher's Stone. Roy, stuck here, would keep ordering Ed's prescriptions and giving the new bottles to him whenever he came around- which, just like it had always been, would probably not be often. His fingers tightened on the book covers and his teeth gritted together. A soft knock on the door drew his attention and he relaxed a bit when he saw the object of his affections standing there, shirtless.

"Al's out."

"I know."

"Should be out for a while…" The blond trailed off, eyes glinting at the suggestion that hung in the air. "You wanna… do something?" _One last time?_ The words hung in the air. Both felt them like a heavy weight on their shoulders. Yesterday, Ed had come to Roy's office because he needed to set something straight.

_A light knock came at the door, and Roy heaved a long sigh before telling whoever it was that they could come in. His gaze was still directed out of the window, so he didn't see his blond lover walk up to the desk. Edward cleared his throat, and the colonel finally looked over. _

"_Oh, Ed. I thought you were-"_

"_I've got to return my focus to finding Al's body, Roy. That means- not anymore. After I leave, we can't see each other anymore." His voice cracked at the end, and he had to clear his throat again. _

_Roy's heart stopped in his chest, breaking into a million pieces. "Ed-"_

"_No. Let me finish. Please." The golden eyes were brimmed with tears, showing how much pain this was causing him. "I love you, Roy. I really, really love you; more than I've ever loved anyone. I wish I could say that we could continue doing this; that I didn't have to leave you for now. But we both have our goals. I promised Alphonse that I'd return him to the flesh, and I'm a man of my word. Which is why I'm saying, right now, that after I get Al's body back, if you say you want me back, I'll come back. Whenever you want me there, I'll be there, even if you've not become Fuhrer yet." A tear slipped out of his eyes and rolled down his cheek, but he didn't bother wiping it away. _

"_I-I see. I understand, Edward." Roy replied through the lump in his throat. He wanted to say more, but he found that he couldn't. And so they stared at each other in silence for a while. Then, Edward picked up Roy's hand, kissed the palm, and left without another word, leaving his dark-haired lover to his thoughts and tears. _

"Do _you _want to?" Roy countered, setting the book down. And then he had a lapful of fiery blond, all movement and teeth and pleased sounds. His shirt ripped, Edward growling and tossing the pieces away as he struggled out of his own clothes. Pale, calm hands helped him along, then the rest of Roy's own clothes were lost.

When Ed rubbed a large amount of lube over the older man's length, then straddled him and slid down unprepared, wincing in pain, the world melted away. Nothing mattered as the blond sat still, trying to get used to so much filling him without having been stretched- his own stupid decision, but he'd been too impatient to wait. When he was sure he was ready, he rose up, then dropped back down, trying to find the right pace. It didn't take long for him to get bored riding the Mustang, so he slid off and settled on his hands and knees in front of the older man.

"In me. Now." he ground out, toes curling. Roy was quick to oblige, scrambling up and settling behind the blond to align himself. He thrust in quickly, wrenching a cry of "_AGHFUCKDAMMIT!"_ from the other and a groan from himself. Ed always was louder when they made love- this was far different from just fucking, though he'd never let the other hear him use such a 'girly' term for it. Edward was writhing below him, fingers digging into the leather couch as he shoved himself back against his lover. "_FASTER, HOLYFUCKSHITDAMMIT!" _The thrusts quickened, one of Roy's hands sliding around the other's side to tease hardened nipples. Ed shoved his face into the arm of the couch, groaning and cursing into it. His hand caressed the way down to the younger's hips, fingers brushing through coarse blond hairs before he gripped the erection roughly.

With Roy hitting his prostate every thrust and pumping him to match the rhythm, the young blond alchemist knew he wasn't going to last much longer. A tongue slicked its way up the bumps of his spine, then teeth nipped at the base of his neck. Roy sucked lightly at the spot, bit it, then kissed the bruising skin lightly. "Mine." he mumbled against it, smirking.

Ed tightened around him, seeing stars as he slipped over the edge and reached release. Roy tumbled over seconds after as a breathy moan of his name reached his ears. As they curled up in each other's arms, slick with sweat and sticky with cum, they decided that the world wouldn't matter for a little while. That they could wait for each other and, though the time apart would be agonizing, it would be well worth it when they were finally back together.

Then Alphonse came back and ruined it.

"You guys should really lock the door. Not to mention clean up and get dressed." the suit of armor informed them nonchalantly, sighing.

The moment was officially ruined, so Edward so no reason not to get up and take his brother's advice. Once Alphonse had left, he did just that. "Wanna take a shower with me?" he asked with a devious grin, gathering up his clothes.

"Most definitely."

Still stark naked, they raced each other upstairs to the bathroom. Edward got there first and bent over the bathtub to turn the water on so it would start warming up. When hands pressed against his hips, he jumped a bit. But a kiss pressed at the base of his spine had him relaxing, even moaning when those sinful lips trailed lower. The water scalded their skin as he dragged the dark-haired man in with him. His back hit the wall, mismatched legs wrapping around slim hips. They were kissing roughly, teeth dragging at lips and tongues wrestling. Ed broke away, both panting hard, and bit the other's pale neck, drawing a short cry from Roy's throat. Licking it apologetically, he closed his eyes and trailed his lips up to an ear. "Please." he moaned, rubbing his nose into damp black hair.

There was no need for any lube this time; Ed had already been stretched thoroughly and the water offered enough slickness. One hand pressed against the smooth wall beside Edward's head to steady the man still standing as he thrust into his young lover, forehead against the crook of the other's neck. Neither lasted very long this time, considering they'd just had sex down in the library earlier. They'd have to clean up the couch later, but they didn't care right now. Both were lost in each other; in their last night together. With the warm water from the showerhead trailing down their faces, neither noticed the other's tears when they both climaxed again, breathing out names harshly. Roy pressed a gentle, lingering kiss to Ed's lips, pulling back a moment later.

"I love you. So much." he mumbled, leaning his forehead against the other's.

"I love you, too, Roy. I always will."

* * *

**Yes, it was fucking corny and they were kind of OOC but it was fucking sweet and I almost fucking cried while writing it and I wouldn't change it for anything because I fucking love how it turned out and it's conry/cuteness only makes it that much more betterer! T_T So, if you don't like it, get fucking bent! (Wow. Lots of 'fucking's in there. o.o)**

**And so, I am finished with chapter thirteen! One more chapter, and epilogue, and then this story is all over. So very sad. But, at least it'll be on here and you can read it anytime! Not to mention I'll still be writing! =D**

**Did you like it? Love it? Hate it? Should I kill myself/the pencil/my laptop's keyboard? The only way to let me know is to leave a review! So get on it, people! **

**Edward: Hm, not as long as I was expecting. **

**Roy: Same. I wonder why she talks our asses off, but spares the fans. **

**Me: Because I don't want them to not read my stories and review. Now shut the fuck up! -slaps Ed and Roy on the back of their heads-**

**Edward and Roy: Hey! -grumbles and rubs back of their heads-**

**Me: Ciao, people! And don't forget: REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! It only takes a few moments, and it makes me very, very happy to hear what everyone thinks of my writing/story! **

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Right. So. Last chapter, not including the epilogue. I really got on it today, cause I was bored and didn't feel like actually doing my school work. That doesn't mean I don't care about my school work, btw. I just didn't feel like doing it. So, I'll let you go ahead and read it, and then I'll talk some at the end. Deal?**

**Edward: I don't even feel like making smartass comments. -pressed up close to Roy- **

**Roy: This is a fucking sad chapter. I'm not even talking to you, Madarao. -wraps arm around Ed's shoulders-**

**Me: Oh, fuck you both. I had to do it to get it to where I wanted it and everything. **

**Thanks: Thank you to all my loyal reviewers and the people who have added this story/me to their author/story alerts/favorites. You guys make me wanna write more! Thank you Tamyou, Narutard, and Pandah Rhia. Your reviews/comments in school make me write and give me enough confidence to not care what some people think about these stories. Of course, I do care if it's good, but the negative doesn't phase me anymore. I love you guys! T_T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist; Hiromu Arakawa does. I assumed you would have figured that out by now, but, if you haven't, there it is again. **

**Warnings: SADNESS! LOTS OF FUCKING SADNESS! Foul language in the authoress' notes, and super-duper cute boyxboyness. Also, more OOCness, though we can't be for sure since we've never seen Edward leave his lover before in the series. -cough, cough-  
**

**Me: I'm gonna sit in my emo corner now. Maybe cry a bit. T_T Sad chapter.  
**

* * *

The sun was almost directly above them in the sky, but the curtains were pulled tight to stop any light from coming through. Golden eyes were shining in the bar of sunshine pushing in through a crack in the curtains. Arms were wrapped protectively around his bare waist, a nose nuzzled behind his ear. Both men had been awake for a long time, but neither had been willing to get up. If they did, it would only make Edward leaving in a few hours seem more real.

"I gotta get up." the blond teen mumbled, turning in his lover's embrace and laying his forehead against smooth skin, stretched over toned muscles.

"Just a little longer?" He felt the words rumbling in the man's chest, and his heart ached when he shook his head slowly.

"I can't. I wish I could, but Al and I have to get ready to leave." His fingers brushed Roy's cheek lightly and he planted a kiss on his lover's lips. "We'll be back before you know it, both of us put back the way we were before." Roy's arms slipped from around him. Cool air brushed his skin, and he wanted to wrap up in Roy again. But he forced himself to get up and pull on sweat pants and a t-shirt. Alphonse was already waiting downstairs, nose buried in one of the books from Roy's library.

"Get our tickets?"

"Yeah. They're on the table in the kitchen. They're for the 4:15 train, so we'll have to be at the station somewhere between 3:30 and 3:45." Al explained, looking up from the book. Apparently, he hadn't been too interested, else he wouldn't have heard Edward.

"Right." That left about three or fours hours until they had to head out. Most of that time would be spent packing all of Ed's things up- they'd been scattered all over the house- and saying goodbye.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

The train station was far too loud considering there were very few people hurrying around inside. Edward's baggage had been loaded already and Alphonse had gone to find their seats, leaving his brother alone with Roy. Ed knew that had been Al's intention: Give him one more goodbye. He'd have to remember to thank his younger brother for it.

"You're going to get left."

"I've still got a few minutes." Grabbing the taller man's hand, he tugged him down and rested his forehead against the other's. "I'm gonna miss you. A lot."

"What happened to being back before I knew it?"

"I will be. But I'll still miss you until then." he mumbled, eyes closing halfway. "I'll always remember, though. You'll be right here- we will." He placed Roy's hand over his own heart so the man would feel it beat through the leather. "And I'll come back. As long as you still want me, I'll always be yours." Roy's fingers curled against the younger's chest.

"I'll always want you, Ed." The dark-haired colonel brushed his nose against Ed's, breath ghosting across the other's pale lips. The few others standing in the station were staring curiously at them, but no one said anything. Ed's hand slid up Roy's chest, resting over his heart as well.

"Don't forget the promise I made you, okay?" he whispered.

Roy nodded, forehead bumping against Ed's, then cast a quick glance around. There was a straggler or two left, but most had either boarded the train or left. And then he kissed Edward, sweet and innocent like a goodbye kiss should be. When they pulled back, their cheeks were wet with each other's tears. Roy wiped Ed's away on his sleeve, and the teen sniffled.

"I love you." he whispered, before turning and running to the train.

"I love you, too, Edward!" Roy didn't care that everyone had probably heard. The teary smile the blond cast back at him was all he wanted. It hurt to let him go, but Roy knew that he'd come back eventually. So he turned and walked out of the station, stopping only once to turn halfway and wave to the blond alchemist that he could see through the window.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"You could be with him when we're in town, ya know." Alphonse pointed out quietly. Edward didn't look up from the window he was staring absently out of.

"I could. But I don't need the distraction, Al. Getting our bodies back has to be my one and only focus. My mind can't stray from that." His voice was muffled by his gloved right hand, which his chin was propped on. There was still a stinging in his eyes, and he took a deep breath to try to get rid of it. Just like he'd known, it didn't work; his eyes still stung, and he was sure they were probably glistening and bloodshot.

"If you say so, Brother." Alphonse could tell that Edward didn't really want it to be like that, but also that he believed his own words. There was no point in arguing once he'd made up his mind, and so Al didn't say anything more on the matter. It was quiet for a little while, just the sounds of the wheels against the tracks filling their ears.

"Thanks, Al." Edward finally said, voice quiet.

"For what, Ed?"

"For giving me time to say goodbye to him one more time. It helped a bit, for both of us, I think. We needed it."

"You're welcome." One could hear the smile in Alphonse's voice, even if it couldn't be seen.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

The sun had set. The stars and the moon were blocked by dark clouds that had rolled in. It fit the colonel's mood as he downed another glass of whiskey, then headed upstairs to take a shower. As he took his shirt off, he heard a light crinkling noise and, curious, he checked the pocket on the breast of the dress shirt. A folded up piece of paper, slightly wrinkled from being in the pocket so long, was tucked away. Slowly, he unfolded it.

_Love you, Colonel Bastard. Don't worry; you'll always be on my mind. _

_-Ed_

Roy smiled and folded it back up, tears filling his eyes again. It would stay in his pocket until the day Edward came back, Alphonse's soul returned to his body.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

_Three Years Later_

"I've got it!" A triumphant smirk worked across his face, loose golden hair falling over his eyes. A pill bottle had been knocked over, white capsules strewn about the desk. A single scar marred his wrist, but he'd never been able to cut himself again. Every time he'd tried- it hadn't been all that many times, really- he'd thought of his lover and stopped himself. And now, all of his work had paid off. His heart thudded in his chest as he scribbled one last word onto his notes.

* * *

**I told you it was sad, didn't I? The last little bit was just to sort of give you a hint to as what's coming next. I don't know when the epilogue will be up. It'll probably take longer than this one did, because I have to show my other stories some love as well. **

**It's almost over. It really is almost over. My first multi-chapter fic, the first one I've /ever/ been able to finish on here or otherwise, and it's almost over. T_T Now I know why everyone's sad, dammit! **

**Also, I'm going to try to get back to everyone who's reviewed this story or another story. I just haven't had the time since I've been working on this. I fail at replying sometimes. Ugh. **

**So, what did you think of this chapter? Did you love it? Hate it? Want me to jump off a bridge? I won't know unless you tell me, so, REVIEW! =D**

**Edward: I'm not talking to yoooou. You made me cry, you bastard! A lot! T_T**

**Roy: You're really fucking evil, ya know that?**

**Me: What'd I say? I had to! So shut the fuck up and go back to sobbing in a corner!**

**Edward and Roy: Fine!**

**Me: Don't forget to review! Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	15. Chapter 15 or Epilogue

**Finally! Something everyone was looking forward to, yet dreading at the same time! Am I right in thinking that? Yeah, I knew I was. So, this was probably the hardest chapter to write; I don't mean because I didn't have any ideas or anything. It was sad. I didn't /want/ it to happen like this. But the idea hit me and wouldn't leave me alone. There was another reason I used this idea, but I'll tell you about that at the end. So, go on and read. I'll talk at the end. **

**Edward: Hmph. I still hate you. **

**Roy: Me, too. You're a bastard. **

**Me: -sigh- I'm sorry, boys, but it had to be this way!**

**Thanks: Thank you to everyone one who has read, favorited/subscribed, and reviewed! Thank you so much to Pandah Rhia and my lovely Susannah for pushing me to write! They're the reasons I do, after all; love you both! Thank you to Narutard and Tamyou for /always/ reviewed, and to anyone else who has reviewed every chapter; I'm terrible with names, and those two are the ones whose reviews I /always/ remember. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist; Hiromu Arakawa does. I'm sure everyone can guess what would be within the covers of that manga if I /did/ own it.**

**Warnings: Foul language, OOCness, nakeyness, and Winry-is-a-fucking-whore-that-I-wish-would-die.**

**Enjoy the last chapter of Fading Too Fast, and please be sure to read the bottom A/N! There's some important stuff in it.  
**

* * *

Blood and memories. Both were given up now, and not by any choice. The Truth had taken the memories that meant the very most to him, more than the memories of his mother. The Truth had taken more of his blood, strewn it across the floor of the abandoned warehouse. But that didn't matter. One thing made everything he could remember worth it.

Alphonse was back, sitting before him, stark naked and thin as anyone he'd ever seen, on the warehouse floor. Through the pink tears in his eyes, he saw his little brother smile.

"Al!" Edward threw himself at his brother, wrapping his arms tightly around the other's neck and sobbing into darker blond hair.

"You did it, Brother! Roy's going to be so happy!" Al laughed loudly and Edward frowned, pulling back to look at his brother as if he were crazy.

"Well, sure he'll be happy that I've proved we could do this; everyone was rooting for us. But why else would that bastard care?" The younger Elric fell silent and looked his brother over.

"Wha-What?"

"Why would that bastard be _so happy_ I got your body back?" Alphonse shook his head and hugged his brother harder than he ever had- as a suit of armor or otherwise- and they both cried: Edward from happiness and Alphonse from sadness.

_He doesn't remember. Oh, god, he doesn't remember. _Alphonse thought, anguish gripping his heart. Was it really worth having his body back if Edward didn't remember the time he'd spent with the man he loved? The promises he'd made to that man? "I'm sorry, Brother." he breathed into Edward's neck. And Ed didn't even hear.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

It had been three weeks since Alphonse's soul had been returned to his body. The two brothers had spent that time in Resembool, Edward teaching the younger how to walk again and helping him get his strength up. Honestly, the blond was surprised the military hadn't come to see if he was here. Or, at the very least, that the Bastard hadn't called.

Today was the day they were returning to Central to see that Bastard; to show everyone that the brothers' goal had been accomplished. Edward hopped of the train and stretched his arms high over his head. Since Al's body had been returned, he'd seemed a lot happier. Not to mention that one could already tell he was getting taller. Alphonse stepped down beside him, still not very energetic.

"Ya ready?" Ed grinned over at his brother, placing his hands against the small of his own back and pushing forward so his back popped. Alphonse smiled and nodded at the question. Truthfully, he really wasn't looking forward to this. Seeing Roy… the man's face would light up just like it did every time he saw Edward, and he'd smile softly in that loving way and… Ed wouldn't remember. He wouldn't know why. Who knew if he'd even notice? Alphonse felt a lump in his throat and he swallowed hard as he picked up his own suitcase. Since he was stronger now, he'd insisted that he carry it on his own, and that he wanted to walk to the Colonel's office instead of getting a car like his brother- worried as he'd been for three weeks- had suggested.

Alphonse had gotten Grannie Pinako to chop off the long hair; it was clean-cut now, just like it had been before and how he'd always said it would be. With the low collar of the t-shirt he was wearing, the top of a blood-red tattoo could be seen. It wasn't a tattoo, though; the blood seal had remained. And it was highly likely that it was still in Edward's blood. At least, that was what Ed himself had said.

Soldiers stared and deliberated who the boy walking with Edward was. Some said that it was Alphonse, but others argued the fact since they'd never seen the younger Elric outside of the armor. But the two brothers ignored all of them and continued on their way to Mustang's office.

"Hey, Ed! Who's that with ya?" Havoc asked from his desk. Edward looked over and smiled.

"It's Al, Havoc."

"What?" Breda decided to join in on the conversation, dropping the pen he'd been playing with.

"Mustang in?" With a smile, Edward brushed off the question and slid his hands in his pockets.

"Uh, yeah. Go on in."

"Thanks!" Ed dragged Alphonse into Roy's office. The dark-haired man looked up from his papers, face lighting up like Al had known it would. That soft smile made an appearance and the youngest Elric had to look away. The lump in his throat was back.

"Ed-"

"Yo, Colonel Bastard! I did it. Didn't I tell ya I would?" Edward smirked cockily, none of that old love for the man in his eyes. Roy's smile dropped and he looked between the two. There was a confused expression on his face before he decided to fake it.

"It's Brigadier General now, Fullmetal." Edward whistled and rolled his eyes.

"Mm, rising in the ranks, are we?"

"So, you got Al's body back, eh? How'd you do it?"

"I don't give away my secrets, Mustang. You should know that." Ed replied with a smirk.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"You head on out, Brother! I'll catch up in just a second!" Edward looked reluctant, but, after a moment, he agreed and left. Roy looked at Al, confused expression returning.

"Th-The Truth… It took his memory. H-He doesn't remember what happened with you. Any of it. It's all gone." Alphonse explained quietly through the lump in his throat. It hadn't left the whole time they were here. Finally, a tear slipped from the corner of his eye and he rubbed it away. It had been a long time since he'd been able to cry; he still wasn't used to the stinging sensation in his eyes and nose.

"Wh-what?" Roy's eyes were wide and fearful, hoping Al was just jerking him around. But, deep down, he knew the young Elric wasn't. Alphonse would never do something like that.

"All those memories of you and him, the promises he made you, his _love_ for you, he doesn't remember it. He's back to thinking of you like he did before; that you're a goddamn bastard and he hates your guts." Al's voice broke at the end and he looked down, more tears flooding down his cheeks. Covering his face with his hands, he took a couple of choked breaths to try to slow it down. He sniffled and wiped the salty liquid away, looking back up. "I wanted to tell him. But he wouldn't believe me if I did. I'm so sorry, Roy."

The dark-haired general turned towards the window in his chair, looking out the wind as he attempted to compose himself. A tear ran down his cheek, catching the sunlight. Alphonse silently compared it to a diamond. His heart broke in his chest all over again; Roy could feel it and it hurt like hell. Quietly, he cleared his throat.

"Thank you, Alphonse. Go be with him. He missed you." Alphonse wasn't going to say anything as he left. The only sound was supposed to be the quiet closing of the door. But he changed his mind when his hand touched the cool doorknob.

"I'm going to get it back, and I'm not going to give shit for it. Because they're _his, _and the Truth has to give them back." And then he was gone, closing the door quietly behind him.

Roy wasn't one to sob. He just didn't do it. When he cried, it was quiet and full of anguish, like when Maes had died. Only this was worse. Tears flooded down his pale cheeks, heart ripping apart. He felt as if he was falling down at a thousand feet per second and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Ed didn't remember.

He didn't remember…

_Anything._

Everything they'd had, and it was all suddenly gone.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"You sure you'll be okay?"

"Of course, Ed. Grannie, Winry, and Mei are here if I need anything. I'll be fine. I promise! Just go do what you have to do."

"Oh, alright, Al! I'm just worried. I'll see ya when I get back, okay?" Edward kissed his brother's forehead before picking up his suitcase and starting down the dirt path to the train station. He'd opted to stay in the military, which meant he had more missions to go on. This was his first since getting Al's body back, and he was nervous about leaving his brother. But he knew he had to, so he did.

The train was late. Edward was standing, suitcase by his legs and hands in his pockets as he waited for it. At the sound of pounding footsteps and panting, he turned halfway. Winry bent double, hands on her knees.

"Edward, be careful, okay?"

"Always am, Win." he replied, smiling. She ran all the way here to tell him that? It was quiet for a few moments.

"Ed, I-I want you to be mine! I love you, and I don't wanna lose you! Please?" Edward blinked in shock at Winry's outburst, but then he grinned; it looked more like a smirk.

"Sure, Winry. When I get back, we'll tell everyone, alright?" The blond girl squealed and ran up to him as the train screeched to a stop. "I'll see ya later!" he called, grabbing his suitcase and walking off the platform and into a car.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"And he said yes! Well, not in so many words, but we're gonna get married!" Winry gushed, not bothering to touch her dinner. Alphonse didn't touch his either. His heart and stomach both clenched uncomfortably, and he felt like he was going to throw up.

"That's great, Winry! Oh, I'm so happy for you!"

"Can I be excused?" Al asked as Mei congratulated the blond mechanic. He pushed his plate away, and left the table without waiting for an answer. Behind him, he heard the two girls ask Pinako what was wrong with him, but nothing after that for he'd closed the door to the porch behind him. Den- aged old and limping- came up to him and nudged his hand, whimpering. Al swallowed hard and scratched the dog behind the ears. "It's all turning out wrong, Den. _Everything._" he sighed, looking at the ground between the toes of his shoes. The dog whimpered again as if agreeing with him. Behind them, the door opened. Mei sat down beside him and rubbed her hand across Den's neck.

"Is something wrong, Alphonse?" she asked, looking at him with curious black eyes.

"Nah. Just have a lot on my mind and needed some fresh air. Gotta make a phone call, too." They sat in silence for a while, staring at the stars, before Al finally got up again and went to the phone. The number was burned into his brain. It rang a few times before there was a click.

"Hello?"

"Roy. It's Alphonse."

"Oh, hey, Alphonse. I didn't expect a phone call from you tonight."

"I wish I didn't have to call you." Al took a deep breath to steady himself and swallowed hard, pulling the phone cord lightly. "Edward and Winry are engaged." There was silence.

"Oh. T-Tell them congratulations for me, Alphonse. I hope he'll be happy." The line went dead. Roy's voice must have broken in every place it could. That damn lump returned to Alphonse's throat and he left the house again, walking down the road as his eyes stung. He didn't know where he was going, but it was no surprise when he found himself at his mother's grave. Silently, he knelt in the grass in front of it, hands balled into fists on his knees.

"Nothing's turning out right, Mom. It's all wrong. It's not far!" The last sentence echoed back to him, but he didn't care if anyone else had heard it. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. Winry and Ed… They weren't supposed to be together. Ed was supposed to be with Roy. God, you should've seen them. They both loved each other so much. And now- Roy's heartbroken and Ed doesn't remember. What am I going to do, Mother?" he asked quietly. The wind whipped his short fringe into his eyes, tears freezing against his cheeks. But no answer came. He wasn't surprised. It only made him cry harder.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

That night, Roy went out to a bar and got drunk. He spilled his heart to the bar tender and took a woman home. They fucked, she left, he sobbed into his pillow. Every night after that, he'd get drunk and sob into his pillow, regardless of what he'd done before. His heart ached for Ed. He didn't even go to the wedding, though he'd been invited. Al told Edward and Winry that Roy had gotten behind on paperwork and had to finish it before someone shot his ass. But the dark-haired general stayed far away from the office that day- a warm spring day in late May. He stayed at home, got drunk, and stared at a wall through blurry eyes. No more tears would come out. His heart had been pulled out of his chest, one jagged shard at a time.

The ache was still there. The scars and the pain were, too. Only he could see those scars, though, zig-zagging across his pale chest. Everyone else could see what they'd done to him, of course. No one said a word, and Roy died on the inside a little more each day. He did his paperwork without a word. When he had no more paperwork, he stared out the window. The man only ate enough to stay alive. What he was doing wasn't living though. He knew it was so, but he didn't do anything about it.

All the while, Alphonse worked on ways to get his brother's memory back; to get Edward and Roy- two lovers who'd gotten torn apart by the Truth- back together. Because they deserved it, and he'd be damned it the Truth was going to screw them over again. And every night, as he stared out his window before he went to sleep, Al would mutter the same words to the stars: _You hear that, Truth? Fuck you and your rules; fuck __**destiny**__. I'm gonna get Edward's memories back. Just you watch.

* * *

_

**Like I said, I hate Winry. I hate the EdWin pairing. But, I have ideas for a sequel, and it would involve them being married in it. So please don't hate me for getting them engaged! I hate it just as much as you do! Swear! But I wanted to give everyone the option of my writing a sequel. So... There ya go! Let me know in your review if you want me to do a sequel. **

**Right, so, if you have any complaints about this story or anything in it, shove it up your ass. It's my story; I come up with everything in it. I'm sorry if you ha- Actually, no, I'm not sorry if you have any problems with the content. You shouldn't have read it. **

**So, I hope everyone enjoyed the last chapter/epilogue thingy! I couldn't decide if it was a chapter or an epilogue, cos it seemed like it could be either. So it's both. It's an It. O.o Please review, even if you never have before and you only say "OMG It made me cry but it was great! Please do a sequel!" It'll only take a few seconds, it'll let me know you want a sequel and that you liked it/thought it was sad, /and/ it'll make me super-duper happy! **

**Edward: That... Was... So... SAD! T_T I hate yoooooou! **

**Roy: You bastard! You suck! T_T**

**Me: Love you guys, too. -_- Go cry in the corner. **

**Roy: Shut up!**

**Edward: We're already doing that!**

**Me: -sigh- Boys, boys, boys. Anyways, review! Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	16. SuperDuperImportant AN

**Final A/N for Fading Too Fast**

**Due to the number of people wanting a sequel- and the damn threats- I've decided that there will be a sequel to this story! **

**Everybody's been waiting with bated breath for this A/N, amiright? The sequel for Fading Too Fast is now up! The name for the sequel is The Heart Never Forgets. I love that title, by the way. A bunch of factors went into it, but I'm not gonna get into a long story about it. I know you want to get onto reading the story instead of my rambling. XD**

**Again, thank you to everyone who's reviewed this story. I got a lot after the last chapter. Honestly, I was shocked that I did. I woke up and had like… eleven or some odd emails saying that I got reviews, and they didn't even stop there! I was like "DAMN! =O"**

**Onward to reading the awesome-sauce sequel that I wrote! =D I love you all!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


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